The Court of AI Capability
Can AI invent new materials to add to the periodic table?
⚖ No"The jury found no evidence that any current AI could perform the alchemy of transmuting protons or neutrons to forge new elements, leaving the periodic table inviolate and unchanged."
Can AI invent a new coded form of communication that only 2 people can understand?
⚖ Yes"Laughter echoed through the deliberation room as the jury swiftly agreed that crafting a secret handshake for two was well within AI’s current skill set, not merely a scribble on t…"
Can AI predict the winner of a formula 1 race before qualifying sessions begin?
⚖ Almost"The jury’s verdict rests between “close but no cigar” and “almost there,” reflecting near-certainty in probability without absolute prediction."
Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at images of faces?
⚖ Almost"The jury paused at the threshold where pattern recognition meets medical truth."
Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at fingernails or toenails?
⚖ Almost"The jury found that artificial intelligence can spot a handful of nail-based disease clues under tightly controlled settings, yet it stops short of diagnosing whole-body ailments w…"
Can AI determine the perfect clothing sizes from a series of photos?
⚖ Almost"The jury found that AI can indeed glimpse a silhouette and take a guess at measurements, though it still stumbles when lighting flickers or sleeves wrinkle."
Can AI rate someone's driving skills using embedded sensors in the car, and potentially flag them to authorities?
⚖ No"In the matter of whether AI can fairly and reliably assess a driver’s skill and hand down a penalty, the jury found the claim wanting, unanimous in its skepticism of the technology’s current precision."
Can AI score or comment on my daily clothing outfit?
⚖ Yes"With unanimous consent, the jury agreed that today’s vision-language models can indeed parse fabric textures and hem lengths as fluently as they parse paragraphs, handing down a ve…"
Can AI detect hidden personal problems by looking at someone's porn browsing history?
⚖ In Research"After lively deliberation, the jury could not resolve whether a browser’s cache could reveal the soul, split between cautious optimism and principled skepticism, with one juror sim…"
Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at images of teeth?
⚖ Yes"Having examined the evidence with clinical precision and, dare I say, a bit of dental drill finesse, the panel swiftly agreed that artificial intelligence can spot trouble lurking …"
Can AI create personalized legal pornography based on a person's character or interest?
⚖ In Research"After spirited deliberation between a juror who saw only boundless algorithmic imagination and one who saw uncrossable ethical and legal lines, the jury deadlocked six to six—half …"
Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at images of skin?
⚖ Yes"With cautious admiration, the jury found that today’s AI can diagnose a rash, spot a melanoma, or flag a psoriasis flare faster than a waiting room can fill."
Can AI detect developing or underlaying psychological problems in humans that seem normal?
⚖ Almost"The jury found that while AI can spot faint psychological signals hidden in data, it still stumbles in real-world clinics where people don’t read the manual."
Can AI help someone to overcome social anxiety?
⚖ No"After hearing the lone juror’s testimony that emotional nuance remains beyond any model’s present reach, the jury found no demonstrated capability to guide another soul through the…"
Can AI help someone to self-reflect on their character traits by analysing conversations?
⚖ Yes"After careful deliberation, the jury found that AI can indeed help illuminate the shadowy corners of one’s own character by examining patterns in conversation, though with a gentle…"
Can AI calculate the risk of being struck with a disease on a certain cruise ship or cruise trip?
⚖ No"The jury found no credible captain in these stormy digital seas, concluding that while AI may plot the course, it cannot yet steer clear of contagion."
Can AI train someone to become more social?
⚖ Almost"After lively debate between the solitary "yes" and the lone "almost," the jury concluded that AI may offer useful social drills but cannot fully replace the unpredictable chemistry of human connection."
Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at images of eyes?
⚖ Yes"The jurors found the case overwhelmingly clear, noting that artificial eyesight is already sharper than human eyesight when it comes to spotting subtle signs of disease in retinal scans."
Can AI determine is someone is having financial problems by looking at their spending habits?
⚖ Yes"The jury swiftly sided with the proposition, finding that AI’s ability to decode spending patterns into financial distress is already baked into the marketplace’s toolshed."
Can AI retrieve someones personality from their bank account statements?
⚖ In Research"After spirited debate between two starkly opposed visions—one insisting that transaction trails cannot possibly reveal the soul, the other arguing that every latte and late fee is …"
Can AI score a person's general health by checking their grocery bill over time?
⚖ In Research"The jury grappled with whether shopping carts could double as stethoscopes, but ultimately concluded that while a grocery list might whisper clues about diet, it cannot shout a per…"
Can AI determine a person's character by having a voice chat with that person?
⚖ Almost"The jury found voice-chat character analysis tantalizingly plausible yet frustratingly incomplete: AI can mimic conversation and extract surface traits, but it cannot yet peer into…"
Can AI write a legal argument that wins a supreme court case?
⚖ In Research"The jury found themselves in rare dissent, with one juror seeing promise in AI’s drafting capabilities but insisting human judgment remains indispensable, while another argued that…"
Can AI write a children’s book that wins the newbery medal within two years of publication?
⚖ No"The jury deliberated in unanimous silence, finding that while AI can spin charming verses for bedtime, it has yet to coax the kind of enduring emotional truth from childhood that t…"
But the data is real.