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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № EFF5 May 13, 2026

Can AI pick a christmas gift your mother will actually love?

⚖ No
Case No. № 5E0A May 13, 2026

Can AI pass turn-based interaction turing tests for 5-minute windows?

⚖ No
Case No. № 8824 May 13, 2026

Can AI drive a car safely through complex urban environments?

⚖ No
Case No. № 56BF May 13, 2026

Can AI detect counterfeit currency via image?

⚖ In Research
Case No. № C13E May 13, 2026

Can AI generate empathetic-sounding text replies?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № 0DA4 May 13, 2026

Can AI win a go match against the world champion?

⚖ In Research
Case No. № 8ED1 May 13, 2026

Can AI translate asl video to english text in research conditions?

⚖ In Research
Case No. № 6D40 May 13, 2026

Can AI generate working unit tests from a description of intent?

⚖ In Research
Case No. № 1C04 May 13, 2026

Can AI generate court-ready first-draft contracts for common transactions?

⚖ No
Case No. № E75A May 13, 2026

Can AI compose a fugue in the style of bach?

⚖ In Research
Case No. № 00A9 May 13, 2026

Can AI write a passable sonnet in the style of shakespeare?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № DFF6 May 13, 2026

Can AI generate a realistic deepfake video of a public figure speaking?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № 7344 May 13, 2026

Can AI solve riddle problems that require multi-step lateral thinking?

⚖ No
Case No. № D42B May 13, 2026

Can AI recognise emotions in faces at coarse-grained level?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № 3DBB May 13, 2026

Can AI beat the world's top humans at heads-up no-limit poker?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № C5D6 May 13, 2026

Can AI read handwriting in 50+ scripts?

⚖ In Research
Case No. № 75B2 May 13, 2026

Can AI write fan fiction in any author's voice?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № 5FD4 May 13, 2026

Can AI predict the 3d structure of any protein from its amino acid sequence?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № CDC3 May 13, 2026

Can AI generate a slide presentation from a one-paragraph brief?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № 984F May 13, 2026

Can AI defeat any human at chess via deep self-play?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № 611D May 13, 2026

Can AI beat top starcraft ii grandmasters at full-game pace?

⚖ In Research
Case No. № 5A41 May 13, 2026

Can AI drive a car autonomously in highway and suburban traffic at scale?

⚖ No
Case No. № CC4D May 13, 2026

Can AI identify objects in photos at human-level accuracy?

⚖ Yes
Case No. № 5621 May 12, 2026

Can AI compose a string quartet in classical-romantic style?

⚖ No
The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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