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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № C989 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI design a drug compound that binds to a specific protein target without prior experimental data?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found that today’s AI can draft novel drug-like molecules with uncanny speed, yet each promising design still demands a lab’s sober gaze before it may be called medicine."

Case No. № 9A22 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI ai predict a person’s sexual orientation based on written text analysis?

⚖ Almost

"The jury strained to find consensus between caution and curiosity, recognizing that AI can parse linguistic patterns but has yet to forge a trustworthy link to sexual orientation f…"

Case No. № 7450 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI ai design a lab-grown burger that tastes indistinguishable from a traditional beef burger?

⚖ In Research

"The jury found itself hung between a cautiously hopeful “almost” and a skeptical “no,” with no full-throated affirmation that a lab-grown burger now stands indistinguishable from the classic."

Case No. № 7829 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI ai generate a custom social media deepfake video of a specific person saying anything?

⚖ Yes

"The jury swiftly agreed that AI has crossed the threshold into capable social mimicry, recognizing that today’s tools can stitch together a believable face and voice indistinguishable from reality."

Case No. № 8905 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI file a complaint for me to fight my parking ticket?

⚖ In Research

"After spirited deliberation, the jury acknowledged AI’s knack for drafting grievances but balked at entrusting it with real-world bite—the ALMOST juror marveled at the prose while …"

Case No. № 9E99 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI handle small claims court cases?

⚖ In Research

"The jury found itself sharply divided between cautious optimism and pragmatic hesitation, with one juror conceding tentative analytical strengths while another insisted no AI could…"

Case No. № D2D0 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI edit 3d scenes from text instructions?

⚖ Almost

"The jury acknowledged that text-guided editing of 3D scenes is no longer pure fantasy, yet consensus wavered over how far the technology has truly progressed beyond fragile demos."

Case No. № 9610 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI accurately predict earthquakes 72 hours in advance from seismic and atmospheric data?

⚖ No

"The jury found no evidence that any current AI can forecast earthquakes three days ahead using seismic whispers or atmospheric murmurs, and unanimous in their verdict that the fiel…"

Case No. № EC57 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI compose a 3-minute pop song with original melody and lyrics in under 60 seconds?

⚖ Yes

"The jury swiftly sided with the affirmative, finding that today’s AI not only meets but exceeds the brief—crafting three-minute pop anthems with fresh melodies and lyrics faster th…"

Case No. № 4286 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI identify individual human voices in a 100-person cocktail-party scenario using only?

⚖ In Research

"After spirited debate, the jury found itself unable to declare victory—one juror nodded at impressive speech separation advances, another insisted the cocktail party remains an uns…"

Case No. № 0620 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI predict civil unrest or riots 2 weeks ahead using social media and economic?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found AI capable of reading the tea leaves of civil unrest—with a warning that the cup is cracked."

Case No. № FF00 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI navigate unfamiliar terrain and retrieve a small object in under 5 minutes?

⚖ In Research

"The jury grappled with the fine line between controlled demonstrations and real-world autonomy, with one juror granting a cautious "almost" for limited success under narrow conditi…"

Case No. № DED8 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI determine a perceived pain level by monitoring bodily metrics or brain activity?

⚖ Almost

"The jury conceded that machines can now peer into the body and read the flicker of pain with remarkable precision, yet the lone doubter insisted a threshold of certainty remained b…"

Case No. № 9691 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI create a universal pain level scale based on many individual perceptions of pain?

⚖ Almost

"The jury conceded that no single scale could ever capture the full spectrum of human suffering, yet they acknowledged that AI can still assemble and refine partial maps of pain by …"

Case No. № E1EC Jul 3, 2026

Can AI teach a child to speak different languages through daily interaction?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found that AI can mimic the rhythm and vocabulary of child-directed speech but cannot yet replace the intuitive warmth and contextual bonding a human caregiver provides."

Case No. № 1097 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI generate personalized cancer treatment regimens from genomic and clinical trial data?

⚖ Almost

"The jury recognized that AI has advanced sufficiently to parse genomic sequences and cross-reference clinical trials, yet it remains one courtroom shy of delivering bespoke regimen…"

Case No. № DB05 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI discover new mathematical questions and their solutions?

⚖ Almost

"After due deliberation, the jury found AI capable of seeding new mathematical inquiries and occasional solutions, but not yet of sustaining a corpus of widely accepted or rigorously verified theorems."

Case No. № 30F3 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI control city wide traffic lights to reduce traffic pressure or waiting times?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found that AI can indeed tune traffic lights to shave peak-hour waits, yet it has not yet scaled to every boulevard and backstreet with consistent success."

Case No. № D07F Jul 3, 2026

Can AI recreate accurate video of daily situations from before video recording or photography existed?

⚖ No

"The jury concluded that while today’s AI can paint vivid scenes in motion, it cannot summon ghosts of the past it has never met; the absence of even a single photograph, let alone …"

Case No. № 746D Jul 3, 2026

Can AI extract all individual conversations from recordings of a crowd of people?

⚖ Almost

"After spirited debate, the jury found the AI capable of whispering one voice at a time from the noisy chatter but not yet fluent in the full cacophony of human overlap."

Case No. № 3F88 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI replace me as a legal aid?

⚖ Almost

"After deliberating with careful attention to the nuances of legal practice, the jury concluded that artificial intelligence has made meaningful strides in legal aid but stops short…"

Case No. № BE4A Jul 3, 2026

Can AI get to know me better than my partner?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found itself divided but leaned toward cautious optimism, with three jurors insisting that AI can parse patterns in behavior it observes while one held out for the irreduc…"

Case No. № 0A6B Jul 3, 2026

Can AI do my job as a webdeveloper?

⚖ Almost

"The jury agreed that AI can shoulder much of the daily grind of web development—generating prototypes, writing clean markup, and even squashing bugs—but stopped short of granting a…"

Case No. № 74B6 Jul 3, 2026

Can AI take over my job as a translator?

⚖ Almost

"After spirited deliberation, the jury split between “yes” and “almost,” with neither camp able to coax the remaining skeptics into agreement."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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