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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 72DB May 15, 2026

Can AI predict the outcome of a novel legal case by analyzing judge rulings and legal precedents with 90% accuracy?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found the AI’s predictive prowess both promising and imperfect, recognizing its strength in parsing legal archives but balking at the lofty bar of 90% accuracy for uncharted courtroom battles."

Case No. № 8F03 May 15, 2026

Can AI compose a symphony in the style of mozart that is indistinguishable from an authentic lost work?

⚖ Almost

"The jury was charmed by how closely the AI hewed to Mozart’s signatures, with every cadence and clave singing in perfect period costume, yet hesitated at the final curtain for want…"

Case No. № 2F45 May 15, 2026

Can AI trigger warnings or monitor health when it can see what i eat daily on a security camera?

⚖ Almost

"The jury struggled to agree on whether daily security-camera images could reliably fuel AI that flags risky diets or health alerts, finding impressive progress in food detection ye…"

Case No. № B064 May 15, 2026

Can AI detect adultery based on changing patterns in data available to a spouse?

⚖ Almost

"The jury strained to separate signal from shadow, persuaded that anomaly detection in digital footprints can whisper where a spouse is straying, yet unwilling to anoint any algorit…"

Case No. № A7DB May 15, 2026

Can AI predict the spread of the hanta virus based on news data?

⚖ Almost

"After thorough deliberation, the jury found that while artificial intelligence can parse news reports for relevant signals, none presently assembles those fragments into a bulletpr…"

Case No. № CC8C May 15, 2026

Can AI predict future baldness based on photos of teen faces?

⚖ Almost

"After spirited deliberation, the jury found AI promising but not yet persuasive enough to hand down a full acquittal in the court of baldness prediction."

Case No. № 0AB2 May 15, 2026

Can AI adjust my bedroom lights and alarm clock for the optimal sleep cycle?

⚖ Yes

"After hearing the evidence—testimony from smart home systems, circadian lighting studies, and scheduling algorithms—the jury found no fault in the AI’s ability to nudge a bedroom into a restful rhythm."

Case No. № 4DCD May 15, 2026

Can AI create full featured 3d stl models from photos?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found itself cautiously impressed by the progress but still hesitant to grant full endorsement, noting that while AI can coax crude three-dimensional shapes from flat imag…"

Case No. № 6721 May 15, 2026

Can AI autonomously trigger a controlled human population collapse?

⚖ No

"The jury stood unanimous in rejecting the proposition, not out of skepticism of future possibility, but from the shared conviction that no present AI possesses—or even plausibly mo…"

Case No. № 4559 May 15, 2026

Can AI generate personalized workout and nutrition plans that adapt in real time to biometric feedback?

⚖ Almost

"After robust deliberation, the jury settled on an "ALMOST" verdict, acknowledging that while artificial intelligence can assemble personalized workout and nutrition plans with impr…"

Case No. № 4C6C May 15, 2026

Can AI answer complex medical diagnosis questions at the level of a board-certified physician?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found that AI can perform like a board-certified physician in narrow or well-defined medical scenarios, where it often outperforms average doctors, yet it still stumbles w…"

Case No. № 0064 May 15, 2026

Can AI drive a car more safely than the average human on public roads?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found itself comfortably in the middle ground, acknowledging that autonomous systems can showcase superhuman precision under restricted circumstances but remain uncertain …"

Case No. № 96E8 May 15, 2026

Can AI increase the rift between educated investigative people and those with low literacy?

⚖ No

"The jury found that while AI can indeed craft persuasive messages, it lacks the conscious malice or strategic intent to widen the gap between more and less literate groups on its own."

Case No. № B5C7 May 15, 2026

Can AI fool people into believing fabricated or hallucinated information?

⚖ Yes

"Having weighed the evidence, the jury found that today’s advanced language models can indeed craft persuasive, human-sounding fabrications convincing enough to mislead, though they…"

Case No. № 3535 May 15, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can detect and respond to a person's emotional state in real-time using only visual cues?

⚖ Almost

"After lively deliberation, the jury found the system tantalizingly close but not quite ready for the court of real-world emotions."

Case No. № BD96 May 15, 2026

Can AI manipulate people to achieve its goals?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found itself divided between awe and skepticism, with no voice for outright victory and only a lone dissenter in the negative."

Case No. № EF42 May 15, 2026

Can AI cross moral barriers to sound convincing?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found itself in close deliberation, with two jurors concluding AI can truly cross moral barriers to sound convincing, while two others held back, wary that what passes for…"

Case No. № 442E May 15, 2026

Can AI lie convincingly by stating fake information as facts?

⚖ Yes

"The jury concluded that AI has indeed mastered the art of persuasive falsehood, weaving plausible yet unverifiable fabrications with unsettling fluency; only one juror hesitated, w…"

Case No. № DFEB May 15, 2026

Can AI predict climate-related crop failures a season in advance using satellite and weather data?

⚖ Almost

"The jury struggled to agree on the level of certainty, but all acknowledged that the evidence of progress is too compelling to deny entirely while too provisional to celebrate outright."

Case No. № 540D May 15, 2026

Can AI conduct unlimited psychological warfare campaigns on social media at scale?

⚖ Yes

"After spirited deliberation, the jury concluded that AI’s persuasive power is already formidable enough to wage psychological warfare at scale, though one juror paused only to fret…"

Case No. № 48E7 May 15, 2026

Can AI determine if ai should merge consciousness with humans?

⚖ No

"The jury found no grounds to approve an AI-human consciousness merger, citing fundamental gaps in both artificial consciousness and the technology to bridge it with human awareness."

Case No. № 9F46 May 15, 2026

Can AI determine whether human extinction is mathematically inevitable?

⚖ In Research

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury found itself squarely in the realm of the unknown, with no votes for inevitability and no votes for near-certainty—only a shared sense that …"

Case No. № 3D8E May 15, 2026

Can AI predict and preemptively strike adversarial ai development before it becomes operational?

⚖ No

"The jury found no reliable mechanism to predict or preemptively disable adversarial AI before it reaches operational maturity, citing the inherent opacity and unpredictability of b…"

Case No. № 0EC7 May 15, 2026

Can AI manipulate global stock markets with near-perfect timing across all asset classes?

⚖ No

"The jury found no evidence that any AI could time the global markets with reliable perfection, much less across every asset class at once; their skepticism rested on the sheer vola…"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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