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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 9AA9 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI identify bird species from a 1-second audio clip?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found that today’s neural nets can identify bird species from a split-second of song with surprising accuracy, pointing to well-documented models like BirdNET as living proof."

Case No. № DB2F jul. 2, 2026

Can AI represent a minority to give it more weight and skills in politics?

⚖ Bijna

"After sober reflection, the jury split along a clean fault line: two jurors saw AI as a capable speechwriter and analyst, another insisted representation requires living will."

Case No. № 26D4 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI be a fair and honest politician?

⚖ Nee

"The jury found itself in unanimous agreement that artificial intelligence has not yet, and may never, meet the moral and empathic standards demanded of a fair and honest politician."

Case No. № 61F0 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI compose a pop song with verse, chorus, bridge, and full instrumentation?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found that while AI can still lack the human spark of authentic emotion, it has clearly mastered the technical architecture of a pop song—lyrics, melody, rhythm, and instr…"

Case No. № 6BBB jul. 2, 2026

Can AI score in the top 1% on math contests up to amc 12 level?

⚖ Bijna

"The jury agreed that artificial intelligence can now handle the mechanical intricacies of high-school-level math with near-mastery, breezing through practice tests with perfect sco…"

Case No. № A350 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate a 50-word product blurb from a sku title?

⚖ Ja

"The jury concluded without dissent that generating a 50-word product blurb from a SKU title falls comfortably within the current capabilities of AI systems, noting its reliable per…"

Case No. № 6FE5 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI describe humanity to an alien race based on the entire recorded history of mankind?

⚖ In onderzoek

"The jury found the task impossible, not for lack of data, but for the paradox at its heart—how could a machine describe the very creatures writing its training prompts?"

Case No. № D0C5 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI enhance development in babys by sounds or light patterns?

⚖ Bijna

"The jury’s deliberation turned on whether AI’s ability to craft sensory patterns—however cleverly tuned—crossed the threshold from simulation to real enhancement."

Case No. № 4E8D jul. 2, 2026

Can AI match people around the globe based on characteristics?

⚖ Ja

"The jury returned a unanimous verdict of “yes,” finding that today’s AI already possesses the computational power and pattern-recognition skill to align people across continents ac…"

Case No. № EAAD jul. 2, 2026

Can AI enhance matchmaking between humans?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found that AI has crossed the threshold into genuinely improving the ways humans find and foster connections, citing real-world tools that adapt to preferences and behavio…"

Case No. № C703 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate a credible scientific hypothesis from raw experimental data?

⚖ Bijna

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury of human scientists and data stewards found that while artificial minds can indeed conjure hypotheses from raw experimental noise, they falt…"

Case No. № E3DC jul. 2, 2026

Can AI emerging health issues from smart watch data?

⚖ Bijna

"The jury found that while AI has shown promise in flagging potential health red flags from smartwatch streams, those alerts haven’t yet cleared the rigorous hurdle of clinical approval."

Case No. № B8D4 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI operate as an urban planner?

⚖ Bijna

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury acknowledged AI’s powerful role in simulating urban layouts and crunching demographic data, yet hesitated to grant full autonomy, noting the…"

Case No. № B3DF jul. 2, 2026

Can AI compose a convincing ted talk in under 15 minutes from a 1-page topic outline?

⚖ Bijna

"After careful deliberation, the jury acknowledged AI’s prowess in assembling cohesive arguments but noted lingering gaps in nuance, emotional resonance, and on-the-fly adaptability…"

Case No. № 7F39 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI communicate or interact with animals in any meaningful form?

⚖ In onderzoek

"The jury paused at the edge of a frontier where signals become conversation, with one juror insisting we’d already crossed the threshold and another refusing to call mere translation a dialogue."

Case No. № 859F jul. 2, 2026

Can AI predict wildfire outbrakes based on sattelite imagery, weather patterns and historical data?

⚖ Bijna

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that while the AI demonstrates impressive capability in forecasting wildfire risk—mapping satellite feeds, parsing weather patterns, …"

Case No. № BC1C jul. 2, 2026

Can AI detect voter fraud by analyzing patterns in absentee ballot signatures across?

⚖ Bijna

"The jury found itself in rare but decisive agreement: while AI can indeed parse the swirls and loops of handwriting, the bench concluded that current systems are not yet equipped t…"

Case No. № 2ED9 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate a children's-book-quality illustration from a description?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found the task well within AI’s current palette, noting that text-to-image models routinely render children’s-book aesthetics with a dependable sparkle of whimsy."

Case No. № 0B9B jul. 2, 2026

Can AI beat trained humans at lip-reading?

⚖ Bijna

"After spirited debate, the jury found AI’s lip-reading skills commendable but not yet court-certified for real-world fluency, spotting narrow victories on benchmarks alongside pers…"

Case No. № 549A jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate believable phishing emails personalized to a target?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found that today’s large language models can spin up eerily convincing phishing emails tailored to a victim’s background and tone, and they did so with near-zero effort."

Case No. № A1F9 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI roleplay as a fictional character convincingly for hours?

⚖ Bijna

"The jury found the defendant eager but not yet fully fluent, praising its ability to sustain character voices while acknowledging occasional slips in consistency."

Case No. № 7326 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI outperform humans at predicting protein-protein interactions?

⚖ Bijna

"The jury agreed that AI has made remarkable strides in predicting protein-protein interactions, with benchmarks showing clear advantages in speed and accuracy, yet still falls shor…"

Case No. № 4110 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI diagnose certain rare diseases from electronic health records?

⚖ Bijna

"After careful deliberation, the jury found that while artificial intelligence can spot patterns in electronic health records and has produced specialized demos for certain rare dis…"

Case No. № 53CF jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate a credible documentary voiceover?

⚖ Ja

"After hearing the evidence, the jury found the AI’s documentary voiceover credible—its tone measured, its pacing natural, its style indistinguishable from human narration."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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