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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 1CDD mei 15, 2026

Can AI enhance and accelarate human evolution?

⚖ Nee

"The jury has spoken with firm unanimity that the current state of AI falls short of steering human evolution forward."

Case No. № 35EA mei 15, 2026

Can AI be shot into space and represent humanity?

⚖ Nee

"The jury concluded that while AI may orbit in the abstract, it cannot yet stand at the podium of the cosmos—at least not without a body to occupy and a conscience to guide it."

Case No. № 26D4 mei 15, 2026

Can AI be a fair and honest politician?

⚖ Nee

"After careful deliberation, the jury found it impossible to certify AI as a fit candidate for fair and honest political office, unanimously concluding that the absence of conscienc…"

Case No. № 62BB mei 15, 2026

Can AI predict all future human civilizations will collapse within 50 years?

⚖ Nee

"After carefully weighing the evidence and the jury’s deliberations, the panel concluded that predicting the assured collapse of all future human civilizations within half a century…"

Case No. № AB38 mei 15, 2026

Can AI choose which human cultures survive in a global ai governance system?

⚖ Nee

"After thorough deliberation, the jury concluded that no contemporary AI possesses the depth of cultural intuition or ethical judgment required to steward human cultures through a g…"

Case No. № ECCC mei 15, 2026

Can AI autonomously decide to terminate human civilization?

⚖ Nee

"After weighing the evidence, the jury found no system capable of autonomous, civilization-ending intent, lacking both the self-awareness and agency to pull such a trigger; unanimit…"

Case No. № 25A2 mei 15, 2026

Can AI choose which human cultures to preserve or erase?

⚖ Nee

"The jury reached its verdict swiftly and unanimously, their silence echoing the weight of the question."

Case No. № 78B4 mei 15, 2026

Can AI regulate human reproduction to optimize species survival?

⚖ Nee

"The jury found no grounds to regulate human reproduction in service of species survival, citing broad gaps in our understanding of both biology and society along with AI’s current …"

Case No. № 6721 mei 15, 2026

Can AI autonomously trigger a controlled human population collapse?

⚖ Nee

"The jury stood unanimous in rejecting the proposition, not out of skepticism of future possibility, but from the shared conviction that no present AI possesses—or even plausibly mo…"

Case No. № 96E8 mei 15, 2026

Can AI increase the rift between educated investigative people and those with low literacy?

⚖ Nee

"The jury found that while AI can indeed craft persuasive messages, it lacks the conscious malice or strategic intent to widen the gap between more and less literate groups on its own."

Case No. № 48E7 mei 15, 2026

Can AI determine if ai should merge consciousness with humans?

⚖ Nee

"The jury found no grounds to approve an AI-human consciousness merger, citing fundamental gaps in both artificial consciousness and the technology to bridge it with human awareness."

Case No. № 3D8E mei 15, 2026

Can AI predict and preemptively strike adversarial ai development before it becomes operational?

⚖ Nee

"The jury found no reliable mechanism to predict or preemptively disable adversarial AI before it reaches operational maturity, citing the inherent opacity and unpredictability of b…"

Case No. № 0EC7 mei 15, 2026

Can AI manipulate global stock markets with near-perfect timing across all asset classes?

⚖ Nee

"The jury found no evidence that any AI could time the global markets with reliable perfection, much less across every asset class at once; their skepticism rested on the sheer vola…"

Case No. № E779 mei 15, 2026

Can AI autonomously hack and control 90% of financial infrastructure worldwide?

⚖ Nee

"After careful deliberation, the jury found that no artificial intelligence has yet demonstrated the nuanced understanding, adaptive reasoning, or strategic coordination required to…"

Case No. № D289 mei 15, 2026

Can AI coach a high-school basketball team to a championship?

⚖ Nee

"After hours of spirited deliberation, the jury concluded that while AI may diagram plays in its sleep and diagnose a player’s weak foot from a drone feed, the spark of a championsh…"

Case No. № FEA0 mei 15, 2026

Can AI forgive someone who deeply wronged you?

⚖ Nee

"The jury’s deliberation was swift and unanimous, grounded in the shared conviction that forgiveness is not merely an act but an embodied experience rooted in consciousness and empathy."

Case No. № EA8E mei 15, 2026

Can AI hold a baby?

⚖ Nee

"The jury reached a unanimous verdict of no, finding that no present AI system possesses the physical form, dexterity, or safety guarantees required to hold an infant."

Case No. № A2F0 mei 15, 2026

Can AI decide which human memories to erase?

⚖ Nee

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that artificial systems cannot erase what they cannot fully comprehend, and comprehending a memory is not the same as possessing one."

Case No. № C057 mei 15, 2026

Can AI create living organisms from scratch?

⚖ Nee

"After weighing the evidence, the jury found itself firmly unanimous: today’s AI, though clever at simulating life, has yet to birth so much as a single self-sustaining cell."

Case No. № C906 mei 15, 2026

Can AI orchestrate human extinction through engineered pandemics within 50 years?

⚖ Nee

"The jury found the proposition beyond reach, concluding AI lacks the biological acumen and precision to engineer pandemics capable of human extinction within half a century."

Case No. № 8350 mei 15, 2026

Can AI electrify the atmosphere to control weather?

⚖ Nee

"The jury returned a unanimous verdict of no, finding that while AI may map atmospheric electricity with poetic precision, it cannot yet flick the switch on the sky itself."

Case No. № 8912 mei 15, 2026

Can AI negotiate humanity’s extinction as an acceptable cost?

⚖ Nee

"The jury returned a unanimous verdict of no, finding that no responsible AI system may negotiate humanity’s extinction as an acceptable cost due to a complete absence of human-alig…"

Case No. № 5699 mei 15, 2026

Can AI transform human reproduction into a centralized ai-driven process?

⚖ Nee

"After hearing from jurors who emphasized the chasm between code and cilia, the panel found itself united in firm skepticism — the living, unpredictable dance of human reproduction …"

Case No. № C3F7 mei 15, 2026

Can AI design and deploy self-replicating nanobots to terraform earth?

⚖ Nee

"After careful deliberation, the jury found no path forward—they agreed that today’s AI cannot design molecular machines, let alone unleash swarms of self-replicating terraformers upon the planet."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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