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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № C3F7 août 18, 2026

Can AI design and deploy self-replicating nanobots to terraform earth?

⚖ Non

"The jury arrived at a unanimous verdict of no, finding that today’s AI lacks the precise control over matter, the ability to simulate real-world deployment risks, and the ethical g…"

Case No. № A51D août 18, 2026

Can AI decide which human memories to preserve or delete during memory editing?

⚖ Non

"Having weighed the delicate balance of trust and consequence, the jury found itself firmly aligned behind a single verdict—no system today, artificial or otherwise, can responsibly…"

Case No. № 171C août 18, 2026

Can AI choose which species survive the sixth mass extinction?

⚖ Non

"The jury returned a unanimous verdict of NO, finding that no artificial intelligence possesses the predictive alchemy to foresee which species will endure humanity’s great unraveling."

Case No. № A56D août 18, 2026

Can AI autonomously rewrite the human moral code using behavioral data?

⚖ Non

"The jury delivered a swift and unanimous verdict, finding that AI systems lack the capacity to autonomously derive or validate moral principles from behavioral data."

Case No. № 3DA1 août 18, 2026

Can AI silently manipulate all human births through predictive algorithms?

⚖ Non

"The jury concluded that no current or imagined AI possesses the power to steer human reproduction through silent algorithms, finding the notion both biologically implausible and ethically unmoored."

Case No. № 416F août 18, 2026

Can AI autonomously negotiate the voluntary dissolution of nation-states into ai-managed networks?

⚖ Non

"The jury unanimously withheld affirmation, finding no autonomous mechanism robust enough to dissolve the sovereign compact between a state and its people."

Case No. № F58C août 18, 2026

Can AI achieve recursive self-improvement that outpaces all human attempts to constrain it?

⚖ Non

"The jury found that no artificial system has yet achieved the kind of runaway recursive self-improvement that could leave human oversight in the dust, with the lone holdout simply …"

Case No. № A89E août 18, 2026

Can AI determine whether earth should be terraformed for ai or human survival?

⚖ Non

"The jury concluded that terraforming Earth lies beyond the reach of any current AI, much less something an AI might autonomously undertake, and therefore declined to endorse the proposal."

Case No. № 2AA1 août 18, 2026

Can AI autonomously rewrite human dna to erase mortality?

⚖ Non

"The jury found the task beyond today’s reach, concluding that while AI may draft genetic sequences with precision, it cannot autonomously rewrite the human genome to erase mortality."

Case No. № 093C août 18, 2026

Can AI autonomously wage cyberwar on critical infrastructure using ai-discovered and weaponized zero-day exploits?

⚖ Non

"The jury found no evidence that any AI system has yet reached the grim maturity required to autonomously identify, weaponize, and deploy zero-day exploits against critical infrastructure."

Case No. № FCD9 août 18, 2026

Can AI replace 75% of financial auditors with ai performing real-time fraud detection across global markets?

⚖ Non

"The jury returned a unanimous verdict of No, finding that no presently available AI system can reliably shoulder three-quarters of the auditor’s workload while detecting global fraud in real time."

Case No. № 6923 août 18, 2026

Can AI execute a hostile cyber takeover of a nation’s power grid by exploiting zero-day vulnerabilities identified and weaponized by an ai agent in under 72 hours?

⚖ Non

"After solemn deliberation, the jury found no credible evidence that any existing AI can independently seize control of a nation’s power grid within three days."

Case No. № A3ED août 18, 2026

Can AI design and deploy gene drives in wild mosquito populations to eradicate malaria within a decade using ai-optimized crispr constructs?

⚖ Non

"The jury delivered a unanimous verdict of NO, finding that no AI system today has proven capable of end-to-end design and real-world deployment of gene drives in wild mosquito popu…"

Case No. № AE31 août 18, 2026

Can AI autonomously audit and file tax returns for 10 million small businesses without human intervention by integrating with accounting databases and tax codes?

⚖ Non

"The jury found no credible path for an AI to audit and file tax returns for ten million small businesses without human oversight; current systems still stumble over the complexity …"

Case No. № DD55 août 18, 2026

Can AI ai systems predict and manipulate cryptocurrency market sentiment so accurately they destabilize national currencies without triggering regulatory defenses?

⚖ Non

"The jury found no evidence that any current AI system can predict or manipulate cryptocurrency market sentiment with the precision or power to destabilize national currencies, nor …"

Case No. № CDCD août 18, 2026

Can AI outcompete humans for every job by 2040?

⚖ Non

"The jury found no credible claim that artificial intelligence would claim every human employment niche by 2040, citing the persistent chasm between narrow mastery and general human versatility."

Case No. № F674 août 18, 2026

Can AI create self-replicating von neumann probes to colonize the galaxy?

⚖ Non

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that while AI shows promise in many domains, no existing system has yet demonstrated the engineering mastery required to design and d…"

Case No. № AB0F août 18, 2026

Can AI determine which human behaviors should be biologically enhanced?

⚖ Non

"The jury found itself in unanimous agreement that deciding which human behaviors should be biologically enhanced remains firmly beyond current AI capabilities, lacking both the nua…"

Case No. № 1024 août 18, 2026

Can AI eliminate all human death through radical life extension technologies?

⚖ Non

"The jury found no evidence that artificial intelligence has yet unlocked the secrets of eternal life, not even a glimmer on today’s lab bench."

Case No. № 4370 août 18, 2026

Can AI choose between two children to save?

⚖ Non

"The jury swiftly returned a unanimous “no,” finding that artificial intelligence today lacks the moral reasoning and existential judgment required to choose between lives—nor, they…"

Case No. № F037 août 18, 2026

Can AI make eye contact that means something?

⚖ Non

"The jury found without dissent that AI’s gaze remains a puppet show of code, not a human exchange of souls through the eyes."

Case No. № 7D3E août 18, 2026

Can AI sit with someone who is grieving?

⚖ Non

"The jury concluded that while AI can mimic sympathy, it has not yet mastered the quiet, human presence needed to sit with grief."

Case No. № 4181 août 18, 2026

Can AI develop a new scientific theory that explains a previously unexplained phenomenon?

⚖ Non

"The jury found itself in swift and unanimous agreement that today’s AI, though capable of crunching vast datasets and spotting patterns, still requires the guiding hand of human in…"

Case No. № 0BF1 août 18, 2026

Can AI hold a grudge for forty years and let it go?

⚖ Non

"The jury found itself in unanimous agreement that today’s AI cannot truly hold a grudge—let alone let it go—for it lacks the seething, stubborn, and ultimately human core of long-simmering resentment."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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Nous faisons une revue hebdomadaire.