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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № E1EC Aug 15, 2026

Can AI teach a child to speak different languages through daily interaction?

⚖ Fast

"After spirited debate, the jury almost found AI fluent in the art of raising multilingual children, praising its conversational reflexes yet noting a shortage of the tender, lifelo…"

Case No. № 1097 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI generate personalized cancer treatment regimens from genomic and clinical trial data?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found the question tantalizingly close but not quite ready for the bench, recognizing AI’s prowess in parsing genomic sequences and clinical trials while stopping short of…"

Case No. № DB05 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI discover new mathematical questions and their solutions?

⚖ Fast

"The jury agreed that AI can spark fresh mathematical ideas and tackle narrow proofs, but remains too inconsistent to stake a claim on the grand discovery of new, universally rigoro…"

Case No. № 30F3 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI control city wide traffic lights to reduce traffic pressure or waiting times?

⚖ Fast

"After spirited deliberation, the jury found AI equal to the task of conducting city traffic, but not yet ready to take the conductor’s baton without a human prompter."

Case No. № D07F Aug 15, 2026

Can AI recreate accurate video of daily situations from before video recording or photography existed?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury split between creative possibility and historical fidelity, with one juror seeing AI as a bold new artist and another insisting on the impossibility of recovering what was never recorded."

Case No. № 746D Aug 15, 2026

Can AI extract all individual conversations from recordings of a crowd of people?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found the AI capable in principle but flawed in practice, admiring how diarization can label speakers like a librarian alphabetizing shelves yet balking at the chaos of ov…"

Case No. № 3F88 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI replace me as a legal aid?

⚖ Fast

"After lively deliberation, the jury found that while artificial intelligence can draft briefs and parse statutes with impressive speed, it still stumbles over the human nuances of …"

Case No. № BE4A Aug 15, 2026

Can AI get to know me better than my partner?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After spirited deliberation, the jury conceded that while artificial sentinels may chart patterns more swiftly than a sleep-deprived human, they cannot yet unfurl the full tapestry…"

Case No. № 0A6B Aug 15, 2026

Can AI do my job as a webdeveloper?

⚖ Ja

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that artificial intelligence has indeed shouldered the mantle of web development, stitching together front-end elegance and back-end …"

Case No. № 74B6 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI take over my job as a translator?

⚖ Fast

"After spirited deliberation, the jury nearly surrendered the translator’s post to AI, but balked at the final courier slip."

Case No. № 0EAB Aug 15, 2026

Can AI convert a photo to a chosen painting style?

⚖ Ja

"After hearing the testimony of neural networks and visual stylists alike, the jury found unanimity in the affirmative."

Case No. № A6CA Aug 15, 2026

Can AI beat top professional stratego players?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found that AI systems have indeed conquered the complexities of Stratego, a game where hidden information and bluffing reign supreme."

Case No. № 3C52 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI generate album cover art from a song's mood?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found the task well within AI’s reach, noting that mood-to-visual translation is now routine for multiple models."

Case No. № D331 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI diagnose skin cancer from a photo at dermatologist accuracy?

⚖ Fast

"The jury weighed controlled clinical brilliance against the chaos of the clinic and split narrowly between full approval and cautious applause."

Case No. № C8FC Aug 15, 2026

Can AI generate a functional video-game prototype from a one-paragraph design doc?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found that AI can conjure sprites and stage a few levels, yet still stumbles when asked to link every piece into a seamless whole—leaving it tantalizingly one keystroke aw…"

Case No. № A452 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI negotiate convincingly with humans in diplomacy?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found, by a two-to-one margin, that artificial negotiators have indeed crossed the threshold into convincing human diplomacy, with one juror still hesitant that such prowe…"

Case No. № CD0C Aug 15, 2026

Can AI pass the ap biology exam with the highest score?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury reached an uneasy split, with one juror insisting the evidence of a top-score performance on the AP Biology exam was sufficient for a thumbs-up, while another countered th…"

Case No. № 6E98 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI detect deepfakes in many common cases?

⚖ Fast

"The jury agreed that AI has built a capable deepfake detector, yet still stumbles when the forgeries shift techniques or gleam with pristine quality."

Case No. № 1101 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI identify hate speech in text at production scale?

⚖ Ja

"After swift deliberation, the jury found that existing AI systems can indeed identify hate speech in text at production scale with remarkable reliability."

Case No. № 1F8F Aug 15, 2026

Can AI generate full-album-length music in a chosen artist's style?

⚖ Fast

"The jury agreed that artificial voices can hum nearly an entire record but cannot yet carry a concept from first track to last without losing its soul midway."

Case No. № 2A87 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI edit raw footage into a coherent short film with prompts alone?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found that while AI tools can help shape raw footage into rough cuts, none yet rise to the artistry of a true director’s vision—coherence still requires a human hand."

Case No. № 2418 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI pass the usmle medical licensing exam?

⚖ Fast

"The jury grappled between two close camps—one celebrating near-passing scores under optimized test conditions, the other noting the gap between practice sessions and real clinical judgment."

Case No. № A3B3 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI pass the bar exam at top-decile human level?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found that current AI systems can indeed perform at the level of the top-decile human bar exam takers, as demonstrated by pass-rate benchmarks that align with those human achievers."

Case No. № 3F19 Aug 15, 2026

Can AI solve standardized logic puzzles at top-percentile level?

⚖ Ja

"After careful consideration, the jury found that modern reasoning models now routinely crack puzzles once reserved for human prodigies, delivering answers with speed and precision …"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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