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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 1157 aug 19, 2026

Can AI diagnose early-stage alzheimer’s using subtle changes in speech patterns?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that current AI can spot the softest linguistic tremors of early Alzheimer’s—yet it hasn’t yet passed peer-reviewed muster as a diagnostic clinician."

Case No. № 4829 aug 19, 2026

Can AI diagnose early-stage parkinson’s from subtle handwriting tremors in digitized notes?

⚖ Ja

"Having reviewed the evidence, the jury found in favor of capability, persuaded by peer-reviewed studies showing specialized AI can detect early Parkinson’s from subtle handwriting …"

Case No. № F598 aug 19, 2026

Can AI identify tuberculosis from cough audio recordings with better accuracy than human clinicians?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury agrees that AI’s ability to detect tuberculosis from cough audio has surpassed human clinicians in select, controlled trials, yet its reach remains too narrow to claim complete victory."

Case No. № E6DA aug 19, 2026

Can AI differentiate between bacterial and viral infections in sinusitis using facial thermal imaging?

⚖ Nej

"After careful deliberation, the jury found no published AI system that can reliably tell bacterial sinusitis from viral sinusitis using only facial thermal imaging—just as a thermo…"

Case No. № CA17 aug 19, 2026

Can AI predict sickle cell crisis episodes from wearable device biometrics with 12-hour lead time?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found the evidence wanting, concluding that no model yet can peer sixteen hours ahead with the precision required by human bodies in crisis mode."

Case No. № AD11 aug 19, 2026

Can AI generate personalized chemotherapy regimens by analyzing tumor microenvironment images?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found the AI capable of shedding light on the terrain of a patient's tumor but stopped short of handing it the scalpel, believing it still needs human co-pilot for the final prescription."

Case No. № 89FD aug 19, 2026

Can AI generate personalized diet plans based on gut microbiome dna data?

⚖ Nästan

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury acknowledged that personalized diet plans drawn from gut microbiome DNA are already taking shape in labs and pilot trials, yet they remain t…"

Case No. № 597E aug 19, 2026

Can AI reconstruct 3d bone structures from standard x-ray images?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury’s lone “ALMOST” vote sprang from clear admiration for the AI’s ability to sketch a functional 3D skeleton from two plain X-rays, even as its hands still trembled at the le…"

Case No. № D39E aug 19, 2026

Can AI identify rare genetic disorders from facial photographs?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury reached a near-unanimous “almost” by acknowledging that artificial intelligence can spot rare genetic fingerprints in faces, yet only when the cases are already drawn from…"

Case No. № 1FE3 aug 18, 2026

Can AI predict diabetes progression using retinal imaging data?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found that retinal imaging models have already cleared the evidentiary bar for diabetes progression prediction, relying on FDA-cleared tools that grade diabetic retinopath…"

Case No. № D84E aug 18, 2026

Can AI predict urban air pollution levels at street level using satellite and traffic data?

⚖ Ja

"After careful deliberation, the jury found that today’s publicly available tools already blend satellite imagery and traffic datasets with machine learning to yield credible street…"

Case No. № 5FED aug 18, 2026

Can AI control swarms of drones?

⚖ Nästan

"After weighing the testimony that swarms can indeed be corralled in closed digital cages but still scatter like startled starlings when loosed into the wild, the jury settled on Almost."

Case No. № CAD4 aug 18, 2026

Can AI generate plausible scientific hypotheses from vast biomedical literature in seconds?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that while AI can swiftly sift through biomedical literature to propose hypotheses, it stumbles when tasked with verifying their nove…"

Case No. № 49A8 aug 18, 2026

Can AI compose music for orchestras?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that artificial composers may now draft an entire symphony—but only as a first draft requiring human curation to reach true orchestral life."

Case No. № F79A aug 18, 2026

Can AI develop new pharmaceuticals?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury honored the strides AI has made in drug discovery but stopped short of full approval, noting that while predictions and prototypes now arrive at unprecedented speed, no si…"

Case No. № EC9D aug 18, 2026

Can AI generate music for film scores?

⚖ Ja

"The jury swiftly united behind a unanimous verdict, persuaded by the growing roster of AI composers—from AIVA’s soaring strings to Udio’s dramatic themes—whose scores already underscore real films."

Case No. № 0560 aug 18, 2026

Can AI create personalized educational plans?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found the task within AI’s present reach, observing that large language models and adaptive systems already tailor curricula to individual progress and preferences, often …"

Case No. № A2E1 aug 18, 2026

Can AI develop new forms of renewable energy?

⚖ Nej

"After careful reflection, the jury concluded that while artificial intelligence can assist, accelerate, and optimize existing renewable energy designs, it has yet to stand alone as…"

Case No. № 2A1F aug 18, 2026

Can AI predict climate change effects?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful deliberation, the lone juror siding with "ALMOST" concluded that AI has made remarkable strides in modeling climate systems but still stumbles when the atmosphere mus…"

Case No. № 7630 aug 18, 2026

Can AI simulate human emotions in robots?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found that while synthetic systems can echo empathy with impressive fidelity, they have not yet crossed the threshold into genuine emotional interiority—no matter how tend…"

Case No. № 94C1 aug 18, 2026

Can AI detect and suppress religious conversion attempts?

⚖ Nej

"The jury delivered a unanimous verdict rooted in humility, recognizing that the nuance of persuasion—especially across lived faith and culture—remains beyond AI’s discernment."

Case No. № CB88 aug 18, 2026

Can AI determine who qualifies for human hibernation?

⚖ Nej

"After sober reflection, the jury found that no artificial adjudicator may yet decide who should enter human hibernation, for the simple reason that the law of the circuit has not yet wired the plug."

Case No. № 193A aug 18, 2026

Can AI make ethical decisions in warfare?

⚖ Nej

"After deliberation, the jury concluded that no presently existing AI can shoulder the moral weight of war’s choices, finding the capability absent in current systems."

Case No. № C057 aug 18, 2026

Can AI create living organisms from scratch?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found itself in complete agreement: while AI can model and simulate life with astonishing fidelity, it cannot yet birth a living cell from raw code and chemistry."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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