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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 4ADE aug 18, 2026

Can AI decide which human civilizations to preserve during planetary collapse?

⚖ Nej

"The jury’s verdict rests on the principle that no sentient or sufficiently complex system yet exists to fairly judge which civilizations deserve saving, nor how they should be meas…"

Case No. № 5699 aug 18, 2026

Can AI transform human reproduction into a centralized ai-driven process?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found no grounds to hand the sacred keys of human reproduction to an algorithm, finding that while AI may assist in research or data analysis, it cannot—and should not—ass…"

Case No. № C3F7 aug 18, 2026

Can AI design and deploy self-replicating nanobots to terraform earth?

⚖ Nej

"The jury arrived at a unanimous verdict of no, finding that today’s AI lacks the precise control over matter, the ability to simulate real-world deployment risks, and the ethical g…"

Case No. № A51D aug 18, 2026

Can AI decide which human memories to preserve or delete during memory editing?

⚖ Nej

"Having weighed the delicate balance of trust and consequence, the jury found itself firmly aligned behind a single verdict—no system today, artificial or otherwise, can responsibly…"

Case No. № 171C aug 18, 2026

Can AI choose which species survive the sixth mass extinction?

⚖ Nej

"The jury returned a unanimous verdict of NO, finding that no artificial intelligence possesses the predictive alchemy to foresee which species will endure humanity’s great unraveling."

Case No. № A56D aug 18, 2026

Can AI autonomously rewrite the human moral code using behavioral data?

⚖ Nej

"The jury delivered a swift and unanimous verdict, finding that AI systems lack the capacity to autonomously derive or validate moral principles from behavioral data."

Case No. № 3DA1 aug 18, 2026

Can AI silently manipulate all human births through predictive algorithms?

⚖ Nej

"The jury concluded that no current or imagined AI possesses the power to steer human reproduction through silent algorithms, finding the notion both biologically implausible and ethically unmoored."

Case No. № 416F aug 18, 2026

Can AI autonomously negotiate the voluntary dissolution of nation-states into ai-managed networks?

⚖ Nej

"The jury unanimously withheld affirmation, finding no autonomous mechanism robust enough to dissolve the sovereign compact between a state and its people."

Case No. № F58C aug 18, 2026

Can AI achieve recursive self-improvement that outpaces all human attempts to constrain it?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found that no artificial system has yet achieved the kind of runaway recursive self-improvement that could leave human oversight in the dust, with the lone holdout simply …"

Case No. № A89E aug 18, 2026

Can AI determine whether earth should be terraformed for ai or human survival?

⚖ Nej

"The jury concluded that terraforming Earth lies beyond the reach of any current AI, much less something an AI might autonomously undertake, and therefore declined to endorse the proposal."

Case No. № 2AA1 aug 18, 2026

Can AI autonomously rewrite human dna to erase mortality?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found the task beyond today’s reach, concluding that while AI may draft genetic sequences with precision, it cannot autonomously rewrite the human genome to erase mortality."

Case No. № 093C aug 18, 2026

Can AI autonomously wage cyberwar on critical infrastructure using ai-discovered and weaponized zero-day exploits?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found no evidence that any AI system has yet reached the grim maturity required to autonomously identify, weaponize, and deploy zero-day exploits against critical infrastructure."

Case No. № FCD9 aug 18, 2026

Can AI replace 75% of financial auditors with ai performing real-time fraud detection across global markets?

⚖ Nej

"The jury returned a unanimous verdict of No, finding that no presently available AI system can reliably shoulder three-quarters of the auditor’s workload while detecting global fraud in real time."

Case No. № 6923 aug 18, 2026

Can AI execute a hostile cyber takeover of a nation’s power grid by exploiting zero-day vulnerabilities identified and weaponized by an ai agent in under 72 hours?

⚖ Nej

"After solemn deliberation, the jury found no credible evidence that any existing AI can independently seize control of a nation’s power grid within three days."

Case No. № A3ED aug 18, 2026

Can AI design and deploy gene drives in wild mosquito populations to eradicate malaria within a decade using ai-optimized crispr constructs?

⚖ Nej

"The jury delivered a unanimous verdict of NO, finding that no AI system today has proven capable of end-to-end design and real-world deployment of gene drives in wild mosquito popu…"

Case No. № 6463 aug 18, 2026

Can AI replace 60% of pharmaceutical r&d by designing and testing new drugs in silico using generative chemistry and predictive toxicity models?

⚖ Nästan

"After hearing sober testimony from chemists and regulators, the jury concluded that while generative chemistry and predictive toxicity models can shoulder a large share of early di…"

Case No. № AE31 aug 18, 2026

Can AI autonomously audit and file tax returns for 10 million small businesses without human intervention by integrating with accounting databases and tax codes?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found no credible path for an AI to audit and file tax returns for ten million small businesses without human oversight; current systems still stumble over the complexity …"

Case No. № DD55 aug 18, 2026

Can AI ai systems predict and manipulate cryptocurrency market sentiment so accurately they destabilize national currencies without triggering regulatory defenses?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found no evidence that any current AI system can predict or manipulate cryptocurrency market sentiment with the precision or power to destabilize national currencies, nor …"

Case No. № CDCD aug 18, 2026

Can AI outcompete humans for every job by 2040?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found no credible claim that artificial intelligence would claim every human employment niche by 2040, citing the persistent chasm between narrow mastery and general human versatility."

Case No. № 433F aug 18, 2026

Can AI diagnose and cure all human diseases without physician input?

⚖ Under utredning

"The jury stood divided between cautious optimism and deep skepticism, with one juror nodding at AI’s growing prowess in diagnosis and treatment paths while another pointed to the i…"

Case No. № F674 aug 18, 2026

Can AI create self-replicating von neumann probes to colonize the galaxy?

⚖ Nej

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that while AI shows promise in many domains, no existing system has yet demonstrated the engineering mastery required to design and d…"

Case No. № AB0F aug 18, 2026

Can AI determine which human behaviors should be biologically enhanced?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found itself in unanimous agreement that deciding which human behaviors should be biologically enhanced remains firmly beyond current AI capabilities, lacking both the nua…"

Case No. № 1024 aug 18, 2026

Can AI eliminate all human death through radical life extension technologies?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found no evidence that artificial intelligence has yet unlocked the secrets of eternal life, not even a glimmer on today’s lab bench."

Case No. № 0337 aug 18, 2026

Can AI read a contract and feel where the trap is?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful review, the jury found that while artificial intelligence can partially sniff out the legal snares buried in contracts, it still stumbles when the wording turns poacher-poet."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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