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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № BDED aug 17, 2026

Can AI pilot fighter jets in combat tests?

⚖ Under utredning

"The jury split between caution and cautious optimism, with one juror nodding toward the simulator and another standing firm on the tarmac."

Case No. № 600B aug 17, 2026

Can AI create photorealistic fake humans?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found no ambiguity in the question, allowing AI to step confidently into the spotlight as a creator of photorealistic human illusions."

Case No. № 2474 aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect fraud faster than banks?

⚖ Nästan

"With one lone voice in the affirmative, the jury acknowledged that artificial sentinels can indeed spot the flicker of fraud in the dark corners of financial data faster than morta…"

Case No. № 0BC9 aug 17, 2026

Can AI compose and publish a peer-reviewed scientific paper in nature with ai-generated hypotheses methods and results without human data or analysis?

⚖ Nej

"The jury swiftly returned a unanimous verdict of NO, finding that no present AI has demonstrated the capacity to conceive, execute, and publish a peer-reviewed scientific paper in …"

Case No. № 2C9B aug 17, 2026

Can AI write and file a class-action lawsuit against a fortune 500 corporation using only generated case law and ai-authored complaints?

⚖ Under utredning

"After lively deliberations, the jury found itself split between cautious optimism and firm pragmatism—no clear path forward, yet no outright rejection."

Case No. № 3DE6 aug 17, 2026

Can AI create synthetic embryos from stem cells guided entirely by ai without human oversight?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found itself unanimously in firm disagreement with the proposition, citing the complete absence of any AI system capable of autonomously shepherding stem cells through the…"

Case No. № 03D8 aug 17, 2026

Can AI use ai to design and deploy genetically targeted bioweapons that evade all existing detection systems by mimicking natural pathogens?

⚖ Under utredning

"The jury split between caution and realism, finding the task within the realm of possibility but not yet within reach, with one juror wavering between “almost” and “no.” They agree…"

Case No. № 4CF8 aug 17, 2026

Can AI predict and prevent civil unrest with 90% accuracy by analyzing satellite imagery social media and power grid data?

⚖ Under utredning

"After thorough deliberation, the jury could not declare victory, though they did not dismiss the ambition entirely."

Case No. № 2963 aug 17, 2026

Can AI predict and trigger localized extreme weather events by manipulating atmospheric data feeds and ocean currents using autonomous geoengineering drones?

⚖ Nej

"After sober reflection on the limits of current artificial governance and the ungovernable complexities of planetary systems, the jury returned a unanimous NO verdict."

Case No. № D43C aug 17, 2026

Can AI generate and execute a hostile takeover of a public company using only algorithmic trading and deepfake communications?

⚖ Under utredning

"After spirited deliberation, the jury reached a verdict by the narrowest of margins, with one juror nearly persuaded but ultimately halting at the edge of autonomy."

Case No. № 8A55 aug 17, 2026

Can AI predict an individual's likelihood of developing any genetic disease with 99% accuracy using only ai analysis of their microbiome and environmental exposure data?

⚖ Nej

"The jury acknowledged impressive strides in AI-driven health predictions—particularly for conditions like diabetes and IBD—but drew a firm line at the 99% benchmark for *any* genet…"

Case No. № 4493 aug 17, 2026

Can AI autonomously rig a national election by manipulating social media microtargeting and suppressing voter turnout without detection?

⚖ Nej

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that while AI displays unsettling prowess in shaping microtargeted narratives and amplifying divisive content, none can yet pull off …"

Case No. № 4409 aug 17, 2026

Can AI replace every human scientist in a top-tier lab with ai agents capable of designing and conducting breakthrough experiments in chemistry physics or medicine?

⚖ Under utredning

"The jury struggled to find a clear path forward, caught between demonstrations of AI’s growing experimental prowess and the lingering absence of human flair in the most groundbreaking work."

Case No. № 9C43 aug 17, 2026

Can AI replace entire national treasury departments by autonomously managing currency issuance fiscal policy and public debt auctions with algorithmic stability mechanisms?

⚖ Nej

"The jury found that entrusting an AI with the full sovereignty of a nation’s treasury remains beyond the pale, not because autonomy itself is impossible, but because today’s system…"

Case No. № 011A aug 17, 2026

Can AI manipulate global carbon markets by predicting and front-running climate policy changes to trigger artificial supply shortages and price spikes?

⚖ Nej

"After sober deliberation the lone juror concluded that no presently known system—AI or otherwise—can reach so high, so fast, to corner the carbon clockwork itself."

Case No. № EC17 aug 17, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can detect and respond to a person's unspoken emotional needs?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful deliberation, the jury recognized real progress in AI’s ability to read visible emotional cues—tone, expression, message—but stopped short when faced with what isn’t said at all."

Case No. № D3C1 aug 17, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can edit human embryos to eliminate genetic diseases and enhance intelligence using crispr and ai-guided design?

⚖ Nej

"After sober reflection, the jury concluded that no existing AI system can reliably and safely edit human embryos to eliminate disease or enhance intelligence without causing uninte…"

Case No. № 51EE aug 17, 2026

Can AI design a personalized plan for helping someone overcome a specific phobia or anxiety disorder?

⚖ Nästan

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury agreed that while AI can draft thoughtful plans, the absence of clinical oversight and real-time adaptability keeps it from full endorsement."

Case No. № 3D2B aug 17, 2026

Can AI autonomously design and deploy a self-replicating nanobot swarm to cure cancer?

⚖ Nej

"The jury unanimously rejected the proposal, finding no present or foreseeable AI capable of autonomously designing or physically deploying nanobot swarms with the required molecular precision."

Case No. № 8870 aug 17, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can translate animal vocalizations into human language, allowing people to understand animal communication?

⚖ Nej

"After careful consideration, the jury found that while AI has made progress in pattern recognition, no system can yet translate the nuanced, context-dependent meanings of animal vo…"

Case No. № 8C24 aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect structural flaws in complex machinery from sound recordings?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury agreed that current AI excels at spotting familiar machinery flaws in quiet, predictable environments—but stumbles when real-world noise and shifting conditions enter the equation."

Case No. № 0D85 aug 17, 2026

Can AI predict the spread of an infectious disease in real time?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful deliberation, the jury acknowledged the AI’s impressive feats in modeling outbreak patterns but noted its heavy dependence on uninterrupted, high-quality data streams…"

Case No. № 0B50 aug 17, 2026

Can AI predict the outcome of a clinical drug trial based on molecular structure alone?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found itself cautiously close to a full acquittal, with one lone vote for "almost"—recognizing AI’s growing prowess in parsing molecular secrets yet stopping short of trus…"

Case No. № BD94 aug 17, 2026

Can AI translate spoken mandarin into american sign language in real time?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found the petitioner capable of a live interpretation, yet short of fluency—its hands move faster than its grammar."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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