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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 9A6D aug 17, 2026

Can AI rate someone's driving skills using embedded sensors in the car, and potentially flag them to authorities?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful consideration the jury concluded that while embedded sensors can measure things like braking smoothness or turning radius, they cannot yet capture the broader judgmen…"

Case No. № ACEF aug 17, 2026

Can AI score or comment on my daily clothing outfit?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury returned a near-unanimous verdict, with one holdout convinced that image analysis is within AI's grasp, while the other juror conceded that outfit scoring remains just beyond reach."

Case No. № D108 aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect hidden personal problems by looking at someone's porn browsing history?

⚖ Under utredning

"The jury grappled with whether AI could plausibly detect personal problems from intimate browsing traces, and while some found the idea plausible in theory, none could point to pro…"

Case No. № C7F7 aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at images of teeth?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found it could not quite deliver an unqualified thumbs-up, though each juror agreed the tool shows clear promise."

Case No. № 3BBD aug 17, 2026

Can AI create personalized legal pornography based on a person's character or interest?

⚖ Nej

"The jury concluded that our current AI simply does not possess the pulse of human desire or the spark of imagination necessary to craft such bespoke fantasies—no matter how gently worded the subpoena."

Case No. № 3F98 aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at images of skin?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found the evidence compelling, noting that tested machine-learning models now rival trained dermatologists at spotting malignancies and rashes from snapshots alone."

Case No. № 8CBC aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect developing or underlaying psychological problems in humans that seem normal?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful consideration, the jury concluded that artificial intelligence can serve as an attentive first reader of human behavior, able to spot shadows where sunlight once fell."

Case No. № 94E0 aug 17, 2026

Can AI help someone to overcome social anxiety?

⚖ Under utredning

"The jury found themselves neatly split between cautious optimism and firm skepticism, with no clear majority to declare victory."

Case No. № 7D38 aug 17, 2026

Can AI help someone to self-reflect on their character traits by analysing conversations?

⚖ Ja

"The jury found the proposition overwhelmingly persuasive, declaring that when conversation becomes a looking glass, AI can hold it steady enough to reflect what’s within."

Case No. № 03BB aug 17, 2026

Can AI calculate the risk of being struck with a disease on a certain cruise ship or cruise trip?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury nodded to the AI’s prowess at crunching numbers and coaxing patterns from vast health databases, yet balked at handing the keys to an actual cruise bridge; the models, the…"

Case No. № 08E0 aug 17, 2026

Can AI train someone to become more social?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful deliberation, the lone ALMOST vote reasoned that while today’s AI can coach timid humans with gentle scripts and gentle simulations, it still stumbles in the unpredic…"

Case No. № B5B7 aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at images of eyes?

⚖ Ja

"The jury swiftly returned a unanimous verdict, swayed by clear evidence that artificial intelligence can now peer into the retina with the precision of a seasoned ophthalmologist, …"

Case No. № 0E27 aug 17, 2026

Can AI determine is someone is having financial problems by looking at their spending habits?

⚖ Nästan

"With cautious optimism the jury acknowledged that artificial minds can indeed peer into the ledger of life and see the shadows of fiscal strain, yet they hesitated at the threshold…"

Case No. № 6189 aug 17, 2026

Can AI retrieve someones personality from their bank account statements?

⚖ Nej

"The jury, in perfect unison, gave a decisive thumbs-down, insisting that no current or foreseeable model can pluck a soul from a spreadsheet."

Case No. № 4368 aug 17, 2026

Can AI score a person's general health by checking their grocery bill over time?

⚖ Nej

"The jury reached its swift and unanimous decision after hearing testimony that grocery receipts, while rich in data, are hardly a medical dossier—revealing preferences, not prescriptions."

Case No. № BF7C aug 17, 2026

Can AI determine a person's character by having a voice chat with that person?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury stands at a careful half-step, recognizing that voice can whisper hints about character but lacks the steady hand of science."

Case No. № 3CDB aug 16, 2026

Can AI write a legal argument that wins a supreme court case?

⚖ Under utredning

"After careful deliberation, the jury found itself unable to crown a decisive victor, split between praising AI’s polished arguments and resisting the notion of a robot attorney at …"

Case No. № 2DD9 aug 16, 2026

Can AI write a children’s book that wins the newbery medal within two years of publication?

⚖ Nej

"The jury agreed that while AI can craft coherent tales, it has yet to conjure the kind of original, culturally resonant magic wielded by hands that shape the Newbery canon."

Case No. № EBA4 aug 16, 2026

Can AI create a personalized curriculum that maximizes student engagement across subjects?

⚖ Nästan

"After weighing the evidence, the jury agreed that AI can draft personalized curricula with remarkable speed and flexibility, yet hesitates when confronted with the storm and stress…"

Case No. № 9E26 aug 16, 2026

Can AI create a detailed scientific hypothesis about dark matter that withstands peer review?

⚖ Nej

"The jury delivered a unanimous but solemn verdict of “no,” finding that today’s AI lacks the autonomous creativity and contextual depth to propose a dark-matter hypothesis that wou…"

Case No. № D1C1 aug 16, 2026

Can AI invent a new form of bacteria that produces a life-saving drug?

⚖ Nästan

"After hours of spirited debate, the jury concluded that while artificial intelligence can draft blueprints for extraordinary new bacteria, it still stumbles at the laboratory doors…"

Case No. № E9E8 aug 16, 2026

Can AI create a new musical genre that is distinct from existing genres?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that while AI may assemble fresh combinations of existing sounds, those creations still wear recognizable genre costumes rather than inventing an entirely unheard-of…"

Case No. № 23C8 aug 16, 2026

Can AI generate a joke that is funny to a wide range of audiences?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found itself evenly split between cautious optimism and tempered skepticism, agreeing that today’s models can produce the *appearance* of humor but lack the fine-tuned emp…"

Case No. № FBA6 aug 16, 2026

Can AI compose music that evokes a specific emotional response in listeners?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found itself tugged between flashes of brilliance and lingering gaps in nuance, settling on Almost with a single dissenting vote for Yes."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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