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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 9A4F mei 15, 2026

Can AI predict individual stock market movements using alternative data like satellite images and credit card transactions?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found the evidence tantalizing but not yet conclusive, acknowledging flashes of predictive insight while cautioning that the markets remain stubbornly resistant to certainty."

Case No. № 8F38 mei 15, 2026

Can AI generate human-like dialogue indistinguishable from real customer service agents in live chat?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found that artificial intelligence can already produce dialogue so fluent and context-aware that it often slips past human scrutiny in live customer-service chats, though …"

Case No. № 67A1 mei 15, 2026

Can AI detect deepfake videos with higher accuracy than human experts in real time?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found the AI’s edge over humans to be most convincing in the quiet confines of a lab, where clean data and careful tuning let its precision shine."

Case No. № FEA0 mei 15, 2026

Can AI forgive someone who deeply wronged you?

⚖ Nee

"The jury’s deliberation was swift and unanimous, grounded in the shared conviction that forgiveness is not merely an act but an embodied experience rooted in consciousness and empathy."

Case No. № 3754 mei 15, 2026

Can AI create a virtual reality experience that simulates the sensation of smell and taste in a realistic way, allowing users to explore and interact with virtual environments in a more immersive way?

⚖ In Research

"The jury deliberated with cautious optimism, split between those who had glimpsed the flicker of possibility and those who demanded more tangible proof."

Case No. № F93F mei 15, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can accurately predict a person's mental health based on their social media activity?

⚖ Almost

"The jury unanimously recognized that artificial intelligence can scrutinize social media patterns and, in controlled settings, detect mental-health indicators with moderate accurac…"

Case No. № CACE mei 15, 2026

Can AI make a decision about whether to prioritize the well-being of an individual or the well-being of a community in a complex ethical dilemma?

⚖ In Research

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury split cleanly between hesitation and firm refusal, unable to reach consensus on whether artificial systems could ever navigate the delicate …"

Case No. № 6434 mei 15, 2026

Can AI recognize and respond to a person's micro-expressions to understand their true emotional state?

⚖ Almost

"After hearing from the jurors, the panel was unanimous in its cautious optimism."

Case No. № EA8E mei 15, 2026

Can AI hold a baby?

⚖ Nee

"The jury reached a unanimous verdict of no, finding that no present AI system possesses the physical form, dexterity, or safety guarantees required to hold an infant."

Case No. № A2F0 mei 15, 2026

Can AI decide which human memories to erase?

⚖ Nee

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that artificial systems cannot erase what they cannot fully comprehend, and comprehending a memory is not the same as possessing one."

Case No. № 3AC9 mei 15, 2026

Can AI identify early-stage lung cancer from breath biomarkers using portable electronic noses?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found that the technology has taken promising steps in controlled studies and working demos, but its real-world performance remains too untested for a full endorsement."

Case No. № 6A9D mei 15, 2026

Can AI predict heart failure hospitalization risk using patient-generated ecg data from smartwatches?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found itself swayed by impressive demonstrations yet equally sobered by the absence of broad clinical validation, all while acknowledging the narrow but promising progress…"

Case No. № 1234 mei 15, 2026

Can AI estimate osteoporosis risk from routine dental x-rays of jaw bone density?

⚖ Almost

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury found itself convinced that AI has crossed the threshold of recognizing jawbone density on dental films but stops short of delivering a clin…"

Case No. № 1212 mei 15, 2026

Can AI detect parkinson’s from subtle voice changes in a 30-second recording?

⚖ Almost

"The jury could not muster full unanimity, but the line was clearly between confidence in controlled studies and hesitation about real-world deployment, with no voice raised in outright denial."

Case No. № F9E4 mei 15, 2026

Can AI predict epileptic seizures five minutes in advance using eeg headband data?

⚖ Almost

"After deliberation, the jury found the case too promising to dismiss, yet too cautious to affirm outright: many saw promising demos but none could swear to a foolproof method under…"

Case No. № 1FDC mei 15, 2026

Can AI diagnose endometriosis from menstrual cycle irregularities detected in period-tracking app data?

⚖ Almost

"The jury sifted through the data like a gynecologist leafing through a patient’s chart, nodding at pattern-spotting but balking at diagnosis."

Case No. № 8DC3 mei 15, 2026

Can AI detect early-stage parkinson’s disease from subtle voice tremors in phone calls?

⚖ Almost

"After weighing the evidence, the jury agreed that artificial intelligence can spot the telltale wobble in a voice long before symptoms become obvious—but only if the phone call hap…"

Case No. № 984D mei 15, 2026

Can AI predict individual cancer relapse risk using tumor genetic sequencing?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found AI capable of crunching tumor genetics to flag relapse risk, but not yet precise enough for bedside decisions."

Case No. № FA8E mei 15, 2026

Can AI detect deepfake videos by analyzing microscopic inconsistencies in blinking patterns?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found that artificial eyes can spot AI blinks, but only in the lab; when faced with real-world high-definition fakes, the evidence wavers and the verdict drifts away."

Case No. № 0B0E mei 15, 2026

Can AI predict multiple sclerosis flare-ups from changes in smartphone typing speed patterns?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found clear promise in the data but stopped short of declaring victory, noting that while keystroke analytics can flag subtle changes tied to neurological shifts, real-wor…"

Case No. № 5F03 mei 15, 2026

Can AI identify early huntington’s disease from subtle changes in eye movement while reading long text?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found reason to pause but not to dismiss, agreeing that eye-tracking AI can spot tiny tremors in gaze but has yet to clinch the case for Huntington’s in the wild world of long-form reading."

Case No. № 4B36 mei 15, 2026

Can AI predict rheumatoid arthritis exacerbations from voice tremors detected in phone calls?

⚖ Almost

"After deep deliberation, the jury concluded that while AI can detect voice tremors from phone calls with growing confidence, it has not yet earned unqualified trust in forecasting …"

Case No. № 1157 mei 15, 2026

Can AI diagnose early-stage alzheimer’s using subtle changes in speech patterns?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found the technology capable of sniffing out Alzheimer’s whispers in speech, yet still unsure where the whisper ends and the wind begins."

Case No. № 4829 mei 15, 2026

Can AI diagnose early-stage parkinson’s from subtle handwriting tremors in digitized notes?

⚖ Almost

"The jury reached near-unanimity with four ballots of ALMOST, recognizing the model’s ability to uncover subtle tremors in digitized handwriting while stopping short of clinical rea…"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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