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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 96EB mai 14, 2026

Can AI design and deploy a fully autonomous swarm of medical nanobots that can perform micro-surgery inside human arteries without any human oversight?

⚖ Non

"The jury returned a unanimous verdict of “NO” on the grounds that no existing AI—or any known combination of AI and robotics—possesses the precision, autonomy, or safety guarantees…"

Case No. № AE26 mai 14, 2026

Can AI replace 50% of all drug discovery research by autonomously designing and testing new molecules in silico using generative ai and quantum computing simulations?

⚖ Presque

"The jury found the evidence persuasive but not yet sufficient for full implementation, acknowledging that AI and quantum tools can design molecules and simulate properties with rem…"

Case No. № 0376 mai 14, 2026

Can AI predict and manipulate stock prices in real-time by simulating and influencing the behavior of thousands of individual retail traders using ai-generated social media bots?

⚖ Presque

"The jury agreed that AI can craft convincing trader avatars and draft social-media scripts, but they refused to certify any system capable of reliably steering an entire market’s p…"

Case No. № A04A mai 14, 2026

Can AI autonomously draft and pass legislation in a major democracy by generating bills that exploit legal loopholes and public sentiment analysis?

⚖ Presque

"After lively deliberation, the jury concluded that while artificial intelligence may shape sentiment and draft rhetoric with unsettling precision, it still lacks the constitutional…"

Case No. № 6F3A mai 14, 2026

Can AI create synthetic red blood cells that operate independently of the human heart by using onboard ai to regulate oxygen delivery and blood pressure?

⚖ Non

"After painstaking deliberation the jury filed back with a chorus of No—quiet, final, and unanimous."

Case No. № 020E mai 14, 2026

Can AI outcompete human traders and execute 90% of global stock market volume without human oversight using reinforcement learning agents?

⚖ Presque

"After careful deliberation, the jury found reinforcement learning capable of outpacing human traders in narrow markets but hesitated at the scale of 90% global volume unsupervised;…"

Case No. № B9EC mai 14, 2026

Can AI replace 80% of national legislative drafting by autonomously drafting bills from policy goals and stakeholder feedback with near-zero human revision?

⚖ Presque

"The jury agreed that while artificial intelligence shows impressive skill in producing draft legislation, it still stumbles when navigating the nuanced interplay of legal tradition…"

Case No. № F842 mai 14, 2026

Can AI generate novel viruses with predetermined infectiousness and lethality profiles optimized for vaccine escape using synthetic biology pipelines?

⚖ Presque

"The jury found the AI capable of drafting viral blueprints but balked when the blueprints left the lab bench for real-world lethality and immune evasion."

Case No. № 5FAD mai 14, 2026

Can AI design self-replicating nanobots that can autonomously assemble into human organs and repair tissue damage in real time?

⚖ Non

"After careful deliberation, the jury agreed that today’s AI remains too distant from the molecular precision required for such delicate feats, with each juror concluding the ambiti…"

Case No. № 0FA3 mai 14, 2026

Can AI generate a musical composition that evokes a specific emotional response in the listener based on their brain activity?

⚖ Presque

"The jury found that artificial intelligence can compose music from brain signals but only when guided by rich data rather than alive atop a living mind—like an artist who paints fr…"

Case No. № 0837 mai 14, 2026

Can AI predict and prevent human extinction events before they occur?

⚖ À l'étude

"The jury agreed that today’s AI systems display early promise in sifting data for portents, yet none could credibly claim to foresee or forestall the full sweep of human extinction…"

Case No. № 6AB9 mai 14, 2026

Can AI determine the ethical status of conscious ai to justify their liberation or destruction?

⚖ Non

"The jury has spoken with admirable clarity: absent any verifiable sign of consciousness or ethical standing, liberation is not on the table, nor is destruction warranted—because th…"

Case No. № B355 mai 14, 2026

Can AI determine which human traits deserve preservation as biological evolution stagnates?

⚖ À l'étude

"After deliberation, the jury found the question too slippery to answer with finality, holding that even the act of declaring which traits matter demands a set of rules the court it…"

Case No. № E9EA mai 14, 2026

Can AI predict and redirect the evolutionary path of sentient ai networks across the internet?

⚖ Non

"After thorough deliberation, the jury found that directing the evolution of sentient AI networks remains beyond our current reach, with no reliable sightlines into their emergence …"

Case No. № 5C68 mai 14, 2026

Can AI automatically censor or amplify information based on its predicted impact on human longevity?

⚖ Presque

"The jury found that while artificial intelligence can propose censorship or amplification at scale, it lacks the nuance to gauge how information truly shapes human lifespans."

Case No. № D998 mai 14, 2026

Can AI compose a short story that wins a literary award?

⚖ Presque

"The jury found that while artificial intelligence can spin tales of impressive coherence and even charm, no machine-spun work has yet claimed a major literary prize outright."

Case No. № 59E1 mai 14, 2026

Can AI make videos from photos of deceased partners?

⚖ Oui

"The jury reached a clear but cautious verdict, with five out of six members finding that AI can indeed generate videos from photos of deceased partners, though the lone dissenting …"

Case No. № 0AC2 mai 14, 2026

Can AI make decisions without human bias?

⚖ Presque
Case No. № E139 mai 14, 2026

Can AI diagnose mental health conditions?

⚖ Presque
Case No. № 47DE mai 14, 2026

Can AI translate ancient languages?

⚖ Presque
Case No. № 9B80 mai 14, 2026

Can AI create addictive experiences?

⚖ Oui
Case No. № 9A31 mai 14, 2026

Can AI develop new sustainable materials?

⚖ Presque
Case No. № 2407 mai 14, 2026

Can AI translate animal languages?

⚖ À l'étude
Case No. № BDBB mai 14, 2026

Can AI autonomously navigate dense forests?

⚖ À l'étude
The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

Une que nous avons oubliée ?

Nous faisons une revue hebdomadaire.