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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № FEA0 elo 19, 2026

Can AI forgive someone who deeply wronged you?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found that artificial intelligence, while capable of polite responses and symbolic gestures, cannot summon the lived experience of hurt and healing required for genuine fo…"

Case No. № 3754 elo 19, 2026

Can AI create a virtual reality experience that simulates the sensation of smell and taste in a realistic way, allowing users to explore and interact with virtual environments in a more immersive way?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found itself in unanimous agreement that today’s AI remains firmly on the nose when it comes to simulating smell and taste in virtual reality, leaving virtual nostrils unt…"

Case No. № F93F elo 19, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can accurately predict a person's mental health based on their social media activity?

⚖ Lähes

"After careful deliberation, the jury found that while AI can detect subtle emotional patterns in social media, it falls short of delivering a reliable clinical diagnosis—like a wea…"

Case No. № CACE elo 19, 2026

Can AI make a decision about whether to prioritize the well-being of an individual or the well-being of a community in a complex ethical dilemma?

⚖ Ei

"The jury unanimously concluded that navigating the delicate balance between individual and collective well-being in complex ethical dilemmas remains a distinctly human challenge, o…"

Case No. № 6434 elo 19, 2026

Can AI recognize and respond to a person's micro-expressions to understand their true emotional state?

⚖ Ei

"With unanimous consensus, the jury found that while AI can detect fleeting facial twitches, it still stumbles over the subtler language of emotions—like a tourist parroting phrases…"

Case No. № EA8E elo 19, 2026

Can AI hold a baby?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found itself in unanimous agreement that, while artificial intelligence can analyze, advise, and even amuse, none can yet lift, cradle, or soothe a child in its arms—a tru…"

Case No. № A2F0 elo 19, 2026

Can AI decide which human memories to erase?

⚖ Ei

"The jury unanimously concluded that artificial intelligence cannot presently single out and remove precise human memories, finding the idea beyond present technical reach."

Case No. № 3AC9 elo 19, 2026

Can AI identify early-stage lung cancer from breath biomarkers using portable electronic noses?

⚖ Lähes

"After weighing the evidence of controlled studies and real-world trials, the jury found the technology promising but not yet ready for prime time."

Case No. № 6A9D elo 19, 2026

Can AI predict heart failure hospitalization risk using patient-generated ecg data from smartwatches?

⚖ Lähes

"The jury agreed the science is promising but still in its infancy, noting that while smartwatches can whisper warnings of a storm ahead, they cannot yet shout the forecast with the…"

Case No. № 1234 elo 19, 2026

Can AI estimate osteoporosis risk from routine dental x-rays of jaw bone density?

⚖ Lähes

"After hearing the evidence, the jury agreed that while artificial intelligence shows promising skill in teasing bone density clues from routine dental radiographs, it has not yet c…"

Case No. № 1212 elo 19, 2026

Can AI detect parkinson’s from subtle voice changes in a 30-second recording?

⚖ Kyllä

"The jury found the evidence overwhelmingly convincing, citing well-documented studies from institutions like MIT and Sage Bionetworks that confirm voice-based Parkinson’s detection…"

Case No. № F9E4 elo 19, 2026

Can AI predict epileptic seizures five minutes in advance using eeg headband data?

⚖ Ei

"Though the jury marveled at AI’s ability to spot flickers in the brain’s electrical whispers, they found no proof that five quiet minutes could be guaranteed before the storm—only forecasts, not fates."

Case No. № 1FDC elo 19, 2026

Can AI diagnose endometriosis from menstrual cycle irregularities detected in period-tracking app data?

⚖ Ei

"The jury saw clear limits to what AI can claim when it comes to endometriosis, noting that no system has yet earned the medical license required to diagnose such a complex conditio…"

Case No. № 8DC3 elo 19, 2026

Can AI detect early-stage parkinson’s disease from subtle voice tremors in phone calls?

⚖ Lähes

"After hearing the evidence, the lone juror siding with "Almost" acknowledged that voice-analysis AI can flag early Parkinson’s signs in controlled studies but stressed these system…"

Case No. № 984D elo 19, 2026

Can AI predict individual cancer relapse risk using tumor genetic sequencing?

⚖ Kyllä

"The jury found the question firmly within AI’s wheelhouse, noting that specialized tools like DeepCEM and Pan-Cancer models already parse whole-genome sequencing to forecast relaps…"

Case No. № FA8E elo 19, 2026

Can AI detect deepfake videos by analyzing microscopic inconsistencies in blinking patterns?

⚖ Kyllä

"The jury found the evidence compelling that microscopic inconsistencies in blinking patterns can expose deepfakes, noting that established detection models already rely on such tel…"

Case No. № 0B0E elo 19, 2026

Can AI predict multiple sclerosis flare-ups from changes in smartphone typing speed patterns?

⚖ Lähes

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that while specialized AI models can detect correlations between typing speed and multiple sclerosis flare-ups, they cannot yet be re…"

Case No. № 5F03 elo 19, 2026

Can AI identify early huntington’s disease from subtle changes in eye movement while reading long text?

⚖ Tutkinnassa

"After reviewing the lone juror’s findings, the court concludes that no evidence currently stands before it to declare AI capable of spotting early Huntington’s disease through read…"

Case No. № 4B36 elo 19, 2026

Can AI predict rheumatoid arthritis exacerbations from voice tremors detected in phone calls?

⚖ Tutkinnassa

"The jury found the evidence promising but not yet admissible, observing that no peer-reviewed system can consistently catch rheumatoid flares from phone-call quivers."

Case No. № 1157 elo 19, 2026

Can AI diagnose early-stage alzheimer’s using subtle changes in speech patterns?

⚖ Lähes

"The jury found that current AI can spot the softest linguistic tremors of early Alzheimer’s—yet it hasn’t yet passed peer-reviewed muster as a diagnostic clinician."

Case No. № 4829 elo 19, 2026

Can AI diagnose early-stage parkinson’s from subtle handwriting tremors in digitized notes?

⚖ Kyllä

"Having reviewed the evidence, the jury found in favor of capability, persuaded by peer-reviewed studies showing specialized AI can detect early Parkinson’s from subtle handwriting …"

Case No. № F598 elo 19, 2026

Can AI identify tuberculosis from cough audio recordings with better accuracy than human clinicians?

⚖ Lähes

"The jury agrees that AI’s ability to detect tuberculosis from cough audio has surpassed human clinicians in select, controlled trials, yet its reach remains too narrow to claim complete victory."

Case No. № E6DA elo 19, 2026

Can AI differentiate between bacterial and viral infections in sinusitis using facial thermal imaging?

⚖ Ei

"After careful deliberation, the jury found no published AI system that can reliably tell bacterial sinusitis from viral sinusitis using only facial thermal imaging—just as a thermo…"

Case No. № CA17 elo 19, 2026

Can AI predict sickle cell crisis episodes from wearable device biometrics with 12-hour lead time?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found the evidence wanting, concluding that no model yet can peer sixteen hours ahead with the precision required by human bodies in crisis mode."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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