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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № F598 touko 15, 2026

Can AI identify tuberculosis from cough audio recordings with better accuracy than human clinicians?

⚖ Almost

"The jury leaned toward “Almost,” acknowledging the promise of AI models in detecting tuberculosis from cough recordings but noting their uneven performance in varied settings."

Case No. № E6DA touko 15, 2026

Can AI differentiate between bacterial and viral infections in sinusitis using facial thermal imaging?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found the evidence tantalizing but insufficient, noting that thermal imaging can hint at infection patterns though no system yet proves trustworthy in the wild."

Case No. № CA17 touko 15, 2026

Can AI predict sickle cell crisis episodes from wearable device biometrics with 12-hour lead time?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found that AI can flag early whispers of an impending crisis in controlled trials, yet it stumbles when asked to forecast a full twelve-hour horizon across real-world wearers."

Case No. № AD11 touko 15, 2026

Can AI generate personalized chemotherapy regimens by analyzing tumor microenvironment images?

⚖ Almost

"After weighing the evidence, the jury found AI capable of parsing tumor images but stopped short of endorsing it as a solo oncologist; the halfway mark reflected its promise as a c…"

Case No. № 89FD touko 15, 2026

Can AI generate personalized diet plans based on gut microbiome dna data?

⚖ Almost

"The jury nodded to AI’s skill at parsing gut data, yet hesitated at the threshold of clinical authority; three jurors saw tools in need of further validation, while one hailed the …"

Case No. № 597E touko 15, 2026

Can AI reconstruct 3d bone structures from standard x-ray images?

⚖ Almost

"After spirited deliberation, the jurors agreed that AI can indeed spin straw (flat images) into gold (solid models), but only when given more than one straw to work with; lone X-ra…"

Case No. № D39E touko 15, 2026

Can AI identify rare genetic disorders from facial photographs?

⚖ Almost

"With measured enthusiasm, the jury found that artificial intelligence has glimpsed the outlines of diagnosis but still stumbles at the threshold of full reliability."

Case No. № 1FE3 touko 15, 2026

Can AI predict diabetes progression using retinal imaging data?

⚖ Almost

"After careful deliberation, the jury found that AI has made remarkable strides in parsing retinal images for diabetes indicators, yet it stops just short of delivering a clinical v…"

Case No. № D84E touko 15, 2026

Can AI predict urban air pollution levels at street level using satellite and traffic data?

⚖ Almost

"The jury split narrowly between “yes” and “almost,” resting their decision on whether city-scale deployment counts as routine."

Case No. № 5FED touko 15, 2026

Can AI control swarms of drones?

⚖ Almost

"After lively debate, the jury agreed that AI can herd drones in neat formations—like a very organized flock of birds—yet still stumbles when those skies get crowded or curious byst…"

Case No. № CAD4 touko 15, 2026

Can AI generate plausible scientific hypotheses from vast biomedical literature in seconds?

⚖ Almost

"The jury recognized the AI’s swiftness in mining biomedical texts and surfacing testable leads, yet hesitated to declare those hypotheses truly validated or causally grounded."

Case No. № 49A8 touko 15, 2026

Can AI compose music for orchestras?

⚖ Almost

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury found AI capable of crafting orchestral notes but still short of full maestro autonomy."

Case No. № F79A touko 15, 2026

Can AI develop new pharmaceuticals?

⚖ Almost

"The jury acknowledged AI’s indispensable role as a co-pilot in the pharmaceutical lab, where it speeds discovery and sharpens molecular sketches with uncanny precision."

Case No. № EC9D touko 15, 2026

Can AI generate music for film scores?

⚖ Kyllä

"After careful listening and deliberation, the jury found that AI has crossed the threshold into generating music convincingly suitable for film scores, with multiple models today p…"

Case No. № 0560 touko 15, 2026

Can AI create personalized educational plans?

⚖ Almost

"After deliberating, the jury found that artificial intelligence can draft personalized educational plans with uncanny accuracy, but has not yet fully replaced the human touch of me…"

Case No. № A2E1 touko 15, 2026

Can AI develop new forms of renewable energy?

⚖ Almost

"The jury agreed that AI shines brightly as a co-pilot in renewable innovation, accelerating material discovery and optimization, yet strays short of piloting entirely novel energy forms solo."

Case No. № 2A1F touko 15, 2026

Can AI predict climate change effects?

⚖ Almost

"After careful consideration, the jury found that AI has made significant strides in predicting climate change effects, capable of modeling trends and simulating regional impacts with growing precision."

Case No. № 7630 touko 15, 2026

Can AI simulate human emotions in robots?

⚖ Almost

"The jury agreed that today’s robots can convincingly simulate smiles and sighs, yet still stop short of genuine feeling, leaving the court to split the difference with a unanimous …"

Case No. № 94C1 touko 15, 2026

Can AI detect and suppress religious conversion attempts?

⚖ Almost

"After thorough deliberation, the jury acknowledged AI’s growing skill at spotting conversion-related language in text or speech yet agreed that suppressing such attempts crosses in…"

Case No. № CB88 touko 15, 2026

Can AI determine who qualifies for human hibernation?

⚖ In Research

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury arrived at a divided verdict—two leaning almost, two firmly against—each side anchored in the uncharted territory of human hibernation."

Case No. № 193A touko 15, 2026

Can AI make ethical decisions in warfare?

⚖ Almost

"The jury concluded that while AI can process rules, detect violations, and advise on ethical choices in warfare, it lacks the moral reasoning and accountability to decide autonomously."

Case No. № C057 touko 15, 2026

Can AI create living organisms from scratch?

⚖ Ei

"After weighing the evidence, the jury found itself firmly unanimous: today’s AI, though clever at simulating life, has yet to birth so much as a single self-sustaining cell."

Case No. № 2E6E touko 15, 2026

Can AI predict user behavior on social media?

⚖ Kyllä

"After careful deliberation, the jury found that AI has indeed crossed the threshold into reliably predicting user behavior on social media, with three jurors voting YES and one res…"

Case No. № C906 touko 15, 2026

Can AI orchestrate human extinction through engineered pandemics within 50 years?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found the proposition beyond reach, concluding AI lacks the biological acumen and precision to engineer pandemics capable of human extinction within half a century."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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