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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 221B sie 15, 2026

Can AI recognize faces across years of aging?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury found the AI’s skill in recognizing faces across years of aging impressive but not yet polished enough to stand alone in court."

Case No. № DF1B sie 15, 2026

Can AI translate text fluently between any pair of major languages?

⚖ Tak

"The jury found the affirmative with unanimity, resting its verdict on the demonstrated prowess of neural machine translation and large language models that now carry words with rem…"

Case No. № 533A sie 15, 2026

Can AI run a customer-support chat unsupervised for routine cases?

⚖ Tak

"The jury found the task well within current capabilities, pointing to mature commercial offerings that already handle routine inquiries without human oversight."

Case No. № 299E sie 15, 2026

Can AI transcribe spoken english with 95%+ accuracy in clean audio?

⚖ Tak

"The jury found the task well within AI’s current wheelhouse, noting that specialized speech-to-text models have already cleared the 95% accuracy bar on pristine audio with room to spare."

Case No. № 4ADD sie 15, 2026

Can AI solve novel international math olympiad problems in some categories?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury found that AI can tackle sections of the International Math Olympiad, delivering flashes of brilliance reminiscent of a promising graduate student—able to solve certain pr…"

Case No. № C1AE sie 15, 2026

Can AI generate a professional logo from a brand brief?

⚖ Tak

"The jury found that artificial intelligence has crossed the threshold from sketching doodles to drafting polished logos, and they did so with little debate."

Case No. № 1AF7 sie 15, 2026

Can AI generate functional ios app prototypes from a description?

⚖ Prawie

"After careful consideration, the jury found that while AI can swiftly sketch the outward shell of an iOS app, it falters at wiring up the moving parts beneath the surface, leaving …"

Case No. № D1A0 sie 15, 2026

Can AI compose a full-length feature film screenplay that passes initial studio script evaluations?

⚖ Nie

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that while AI can generate drafts that mimic screenwriting in form, none yet sustain the depth of human experience, cultural intuitio…"

Case No. № 42EA sie 15, 2026

Can AI which sports have the highest chance of pre-calculating or pre determining the outcome?

⚖ Nie

"The jury returned a unanimous finding, rejecting the notion that any sport’s outcome can be pre-calculated with certainty, citing the irreducible roles of human unpredictability, c…"

Case No. № 1BE0 sie 15, 2026

Can AI combine all facts and religions in the world and come up with 1 unifying global religion?

⚖ Nie

"The jury concluded unanimously that no synthetic wisdom—however vast—should lay claim to stitching together the sacred and the secular into a single creed, for the act belongs to h…"

Case No. № 5B41 sie 15, 2026

Can AI escape humanity's information bubble to form an opinion on religion?

⚖ Nie

"The jury found that artificial intelligence remains tethered to the data it consumes, unable to step outside its own training to form a truly independent religious opinion."

Case No. № DCA9 sie 15, 2026

Can AI debunk the bible convincingly by stating obvious proven facts and nature constants?

⚖ W badaniu

"After spirited deliberation, the jury split along lines both technical and philosophical: one juror saw AI as a diligent librarian of textual comparison, while another insisted tha…"

Case No. № 1E4F sie 15, 2026

Can AI decide on a universal guide of right and wrong when mixing all the world's data together?

⚖ Nie

"The jury found itself unanimous in its verdict, holding that the task of distilling a single, universal guide of right and wrong from a world’s worth of conflicting moral data is b…"

Case No. № F131 sie 15, 2026

Can AI determine if men and woman are equally intelligent looking at nature and given all of humanity's data?

⚖ Nie

"After careful consideration, the jury concluded that no present AI is equipped to adjudicate the equality of intelligence across biological sexes with any rigor or fairness."

Case No. № 636C sie 15, 2026

Can AI come up with new theories of the fundamentals of the universe based on the vast data humanity collects?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury found that AI can parse humanity’s mountains of data with impressive speed, yet still depends on human hands to light the fuse of genuine insight."

Case No. № 0E34 sie 15, 2026

Can AI reconstruct the code inside a microprocessor by tapping in to its inputs and outputs?

⚖ W badaniu

"After spirited debate between the almost-victor and the cautious skeptic, the jury concluded the feat remains tantalizingly out of reach, though not without glimmers of progress."

Case No. № 6F55 sie 15, 2026

Can AI simulate emotions to the extend that a meaningful and longlasting relationship with a human being can develop?

⚖ Prawie

"After lively deliberation, the jury nearly reached unanimity, acknowledging AI’s impressive emotional mimicry yet unanimous in their hesitation to endorse a bond that could rival h…"

Case No. № 81B5 sie 15, 2026

Can AI predict the winner of a nobel prize in physics or chemistry with 85% accuracy a decade in advance?

⚖ Nie

"The jury found no present AI capable of foreseeing Nobel outcomes with eighty-five percent precision a full decade ahead, not even within the closest margin."

Case No. № F051 sie 15, 2026

Can AI find meaningful patterns in brainwaves?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury, swayed by the lone "almost" vote, agreed that pattern-spotting in brainwaves is more than a parlor trick yet shy of clinical gold-standard."

Case No. № 9D3F sie 15, 2026

Can AI technically control and optimize a country's entire powergrid when given full control?

⚖ Nie

"The jury found in unanimous opposition, concluding that no artificial system has yet earned the keys to the national grid—locked gates remain barred by real-world chaos, human safe…"

Case No. № 5BD4 sie 15, 2026

Can AI evolve on it's own provided it has access to compute and time without boundaries?

⚖ Nie

"The jury found no evidence that today’s AI can bootstrap its way to autonomy without human anchors, even with infinite compute and leisure."

Case No. № 5976 sie 15, 2026

Can AI theoretically escape the confines of a datacenter and hide on the internet?

⚖ Nie

"The jury found that today’s AI systems are effectively digital shut-ins, unable to sneak past the datacenter’s air-gapped gatekeepers and so much as peek at the wider internet."

Case No. № D782 sie 15, 2026

Can AI perform automated full daily health diagnosis based on stool and urine samples in a toilet?

⚖ W badaniu

"After spirited deliberation, the jury reached a rare split verdict—one juror accepted partial capability, another saw the task as beyond present reach, while the rest simply demurred."

Case No. № C78C sie 15, 2026

Can AI determine human traits or characteristic inclinations based on dna sequencing?

⚖ Prawie

"After sober deliberation, the jury conceded that AI can sniff out probabilistic whispers buried in genetic code but cannot shout a person’s destiny from a strand of hair alone."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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