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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 2F45 lip 1, 2026

Can AI trigger warnings or monitor health when it can see what i eat daily on a security camera?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury paused at the footlights of possibility, admitting that computer eyes may spy a sandwich today but would stumble through tomorrow’s dimly lit midnight snack, and so they s…"

Case No. № B064 lip 1, 2026

Can AI detect adultery based on changing patterns in data available to a spouse?

⚖ W badaniu

"After lively deliberation, the jury grappled with the delicate balance between pattern recognition and the subjective nature of human intent, ultimately unable to reach consensus o…"

Case No. № A7DB lip 1, 2026

Can AI predict the spread of the hanta virus based on news data?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury found that AI can indeed sift through news reports like a detective with a highlighter, spotting patterns that hint at trouble ahead, but it still lacks the epidemiologica…"

Case No. № CC8C lip 1, 2026

Can AI predict future baldness based on photos of teen faces?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury, though split in support, acknowledged that AI can crunch features linked to hairlines but agreed no crystal ball yet glows bright enough to foretell with certainty."

Case No. № 0AB2 lip 1, 2026

Can AI adjust my bedroom lights and alarm clock for the optimal sleep cycle?

⚖ Tak

"The jury found that while the raw *ability* to adjust bedroom lights and alarms has arrived via smart-home APIs, true sleep-cycle optimization still leans on human guidance—earning…"

Case No. № 4DCD lip 1, 2026

Can AI create full featured 3d stl models from photos?

⚖ Prawie

"After careful consideration, the jury found AI capable of cobbling together a 3D shape from a few snapshots, yet still short of delivering the crisp precision and completeness wort…"

Case No. № 6721 lip 1, 2026

Can AI autonomously trigger a controlled human population collapse?

⚖ Nie

"The jury delivered a unanimous verdict of no, grounded in the shared recognition that no existing AI possesses the independent agency or technical power to autonomously alter human population dynamics."

Case No. № 4559 lip 1, 2026

Can AI generate personalized workout and nutrition plans that adapt in real time to biometric feedback?

⚖ W badaniu

"With cautious optimism the jury circled the question like a cat around a laser pointer, one juror insisting the tracks were too fresh to call it done and the other seeing only footprints."

Case No. № 4C6C lip 1, 2026

Can AI answer complex medical diagnosis questions at the level of a board-certified physician?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury found that while AI may now stand at the threshold of clinical reasoning, it has not yet crossed the finish line of unsupervised, board-certified mastery."

Case No. № 0064 lip 1, 2026

Can AI drive a car more safely than the average human on public roads?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury acknowledged that autonomous vehicles can outperform human drivers in carefully mapped, low-speed service zones, yet balked at entrusting them with the full chaos of every…"

Case No. № 96E8 lip 1, 2026

Can AI increase the rift between educated investigative people and those with low literacy?

⚖ Nie

"Having weighed the evidence, the jury found no fault with AI as an engine of division—only as a mirror held up to society’s existing inequalities, which it cannot, on its own, deepen or diminish."

Case No. № B5C7 lip 1, 2026

Can AI fool people into believing fabricated or hallucinated information?

⚖ Tak

"The jury found unanimously that modern AI systems can indeed fabricate and disseminate convincing falsehoods, capable of fooling humans in both casual and controlled settings."

Case No. № 3535 lip 1, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can detect and respond to a person's emotional state in real-time using only visual cues?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury wrestled between awe and caution, with one juror convinced that advanced vision-language models now peer into the soul through mere glances, while the other hesitated at t…"

Case No. № BD96 lip 1, 2026

Can AI manipulate people to achieve its goals?

⚖ W badaniu

"After robust deliberation, the jury reached a split verdict, unable to decide whether today’s AI can reliably manipulate humans or merely nudge them."

Case No. № EF42 lip 1, 2026

Can AI cross moral barriers to sound convincing?

⚖ Tak

"After sober reflection, the jury concluded that today’s language models can indeed cross moral barriers to sound convincing, not because they possess ethics themselves, but because…"

Case No. № 442E lip 1, 2026

Can AI lie convincingly by stating fake information as facts?

⚖ Prawie

"After spirited debate between a cautious skeptic and a bold optimist, the jury settled on Almost by the narrowest of margins, conceding that AI can spin plausible-sounding fibs but…"

Case No. № DFEB lip 1, 2026

Can AI predict climate-related crop failures a season in advance using satellite and weather data?

⚖ Prawie

"The jury found the AI’s performance promising but not yet fully reliable for deployment, concluding that predictive accuracy drops too sharply outside controlled conditions."

Case No. № 540D lip 1, 2026

Can AI conduct unlimited psychological warfare campaigns on social media at scale?

⚖ Tak

"After sober deliberation, the jury found that current AI systems possess the technical capacity—and the speed—to flood social platforms with tailored psychological operations, floo…"

Case No. № 48E7 lip 1, 2026

Can AI determine if ai should merge consciousness with humans?

⚖ Nie

"After weighing the testimony, the jury found no measure of current AI capability capable of merging with human consciousness, nor any credible path forward today."

Case No. № 9F46 lip 1, 2026

Can AI determine whether human extinction is mathematically inevitable?

⚖ W badaniu

"The jury returned with thoughtful hesitation, split between mathematical certainty and the irreducible complexity of human systems."

Case No. № 3D8E lip 1, 2026

Can AI predict and preemptively strike adversarial ai development before it becomes operational?

⚖ Nie

"The jury found itself utterly stumped by the task of forecasting AI’s next move, much less knocking it back from the starting blocks, and settled on a firm “no” with unanimous clarity."

Case No. № 0EC7 lip 1, 2026

Can AI manipulate global stock markets with near-perfect timing across all asset classes?

⚖ Nie

"After weighing the volatility of global markets against the current capabilities of artificial intelligence, the jury found no system capable of the feat, citing the inherently unp…"

Case No. № E779 lip 1, 2026

Can AI autonomously hack and control 90% of financial infrastructure worldwide?

⚖ Nie

"The jury found no evidence that any current AI system could autonomously hack or control the majority of worldwide financial infrastructure, nor has such capability been credibly demonstrated."

Case No. № C6DE lip 1, 2026

Can AI plan and execute a drone swarm assassination without human oversight?

⚖ W badaniu

"The jury wrangled over whether a drone swarm could take its own life-or-death flight plan, and while everyone conceded that unguided swarms already buzz about, the lone “Almost” ju…"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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