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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 3DBB ago 16, 2026

Can AI beat the world's top humans at heads-up no-limit poker?

⚖ Sì

"The jury found that sophisticated AI models like Pluribus and Cepheus have already surpassed human capabilities in heads-up no-limit Texas hold’em, as demonstrated by their consist…"

Case No. № C5D6 ago 16, 2026

Can AI read handwriting in 50+ scripts?

⚖ Quasi

"After careful consideration, the jury acknowledged impressive strides but found the systems still stumble over certain scripts, leaving some pages unread."

Case No. № 75B2 ago 16, 2026

Can AI write fan fiction in any author's voice?

⚖ Sì

"The jury swiftly agreed that current models can convincingly channel an author’s voice, turning a prompt into prose that reads like the real deal with only light guidance."

Case No. № 5FD4 ago 16, 2026

Can AI predict the 3d structure of any protein from its amino acid sequence?

⚖ Sì

"The jury found the question answered with decisive authority by AlphaFold2's triumphant stroll across the protein-folding landscape, rendering every shred of doubt unnecessary."

Case No. № CDC3 ago 16, 2026

Can AI generate a slide presentation from a one-paragraph brief?

⚖ Sì

"After brief but spirited deliberation, the jury found that artificial intelligence has crossed the threshold from drafting bullets to designing decks with only the flimsiest of prompts."

Case No. № 984F ago 15, 2026

Can AI defeat any human at chess via deep self-play?

⚖ Sì

"With a unanimous verdict, the jury found that AI has already surpassed human mastery in chess through sheer self-instruction, turning the board into a private proving ground where …"

Case No. № 611D ago 15, 2026

Can AI beat top starcraft ii grandmasters at full-game pace?

⚖ Sì

"The jury found that AlphaStar had cleared the ladder by proving it could outmaneuver human champions in real match conditions without tilting or stalling—performance so fluid it le…"

Case No. № 5A41 ago 15, 2026

Can AI drive a car autonomously in highway and suburban traffic at scale?

⚖ Quasi

"The jury found the technology tantalizingly close but not quite ready to let a robo-chauffeur take the wheel unsupervised, noting that while dazzling demos exist, they still miss e…"

Case No. № CC4D ago 15, 2026

Can AI identify objects in photos at human-level accuracy?

⚖ Sì

"The jury found that contemporary vision models have indeed reached human-level accuracy in identifying objects within photos, citing benchmarks where cutting-edge systems like CLIP…"

Case No. № 5621 ago 15, 2026

Can AI compose a string quartet in classical-romantic style?

⚖ Quasi

"The jury took only minutes to huddle over their sheet music, the two “Almost” votes swaying in favor of a cautious yes despite no full-throated “Yes.” They agreed the model can wea…"

Case No. № 797C ago 15, 2026

Can AI compose a piano nocturne in chopin's style?

⚖ Quasi

"After hearing the lone voice of “almost,” the jury agreed that the nocturne sounded convincingly Chopin-like in its surface details yet failed to sustain the expansive emotional ar…"

Case No. № C74A ago 15, 2026

Can AI generate a photorealistic image from a text description?

⚖ Sì

"After careful inspection of current models, the jury found that three major systems already meet the standard of photorealistic generation from text, with no need to wait for tomorrow’s breakthroughs."

Case No. № A273 ago 15, 2026

Can AI solve high-school math word problems with step-by-step explanations?

⚖ Quasi

"After spirited debate, the jury could not reconcile what counts as “reliable” in a classroom where one typo flips a passing grade to failing; still, they agree AI already earns top…"

Case No. № D64A ago 15, 2026

Can AI write working code in 50+ programming languages from natural-language prompts?

⚖ Quasi

"After spirited deliberation, the jury found itself torn between awe and skepticism, with one juror fully convinced by the parade of polished polyglot snippets while another lingere…"

Case No. № 89E2 ago 15, 2026

Can AI generate a movie poster from a script logline?

⚖ Sì

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury found the capability plainly established: contemporary text-to-image systems can reliably translate script loglines into credible, context-r…"

Case No. № D146 ago 15, 2026

Can AI generate animated short scenes from a screenplay?

⚖ Quasi

"After careful consideration, the jury acknowledged that today’s AI can assemble storyboard frames or rough motion sequences from screenplays, yet it stumbles when asked to deliver …"

Case No. № 2276 ago 15, 2026

Can AI identify a song from a 5-second audio clip?

⚖ Sì

"After swift deliberation, the jury concurred that recognizing a song from a fleeting clip has been solved in practice, not theory."

Case No. № 74F7 ago 15, 2026

Can AI hold a multi-turn conversation that feels natural for ten minutes?

⚖ Quasi

"The jury found that artificial minds can indeed drift down conversational rivers for ten full minutes, though they still occasionally brush against the banks of plausibility."

Case No. № 221B ago 15, 2026

Can AI recognize faces across years of aging?

⚖ Quasi

"The jury found the AI’s skill in recognizing faces across years of aging impressive but not yet polished enough to stand alone in court."

Case No. № DF1B ago 15, 2026

Can AI translate text fluently between any pair of major languages?

⚖ Sì

"The jury found the affirmative with unanimity, resting its verdict on the demonstrated prowess of neural machine translation and large language models that now carry words with rem…"

Case No. № 533A ago 15, 2026

Can AI run a customer-support chat unsupervised for routine cases?

⚖ Sì

"The jury found the task well within current capabilities, pointing to mature commercial offerings that already handle routine inquiries without human oversight."

Case No. № 299E ago 15, 2026

Can AI transcribe spoken english with 95%+ accuracy in clean audio?

⚖ Sì

"The jury found the task well within AI’s current wheelhouse, noting that specialized speech-to-text models have already cleared the 95% accuracy bar on pristine audio with room to spare."

Case No. № 4ADD ago 15, 2026

Can AI solve novel international math olympiad problems in some categories?

⚖ Quasi

"The jury found that AI can tackle sections of the International Math Olympiad, delivering flashes of brilliance reminiscent of a promising graduate student—able to solve certain pr…"

Case No. № C1AE ago 15, 2026

Can AI generate a professional logo from a brand brief?

⚖ Sì

"The jury found that artificial intelligence has crossed the threshold from sketching doodles to drafting polished logos, and they did so with little debate."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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