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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 7666 mag 15, 2026

Can AI run a robotic arm through a cooking recipe in a controlled kitchen?

⚖ Sì

"The jury found the robotic arm capable of following a controlled recipe, but not yet ready for the chaos of a real kitchen."

Case No. № EB57 mag 15, 2026

Can AI score in the top 10% on the sat?

⚖ Quasi

"The jurors grappled with whether today’s AI could reliably outperform the brightest human test-takers, with most finding it had indeed crossed that threshold—save two who argued th…"

Case No. № 7FE9 mag 15, 2026

Can AI sort recyclables on industrial conveyor at human accuracy?

⚖ Sì

"After careful consideration, the jury found the AI capable of matching human accuracy in sorting recyclables on an industrial conveyor—though not without acknowledging the need for…"

Case No. № 4DE2 mag 15, 2026

Can AI solve graduate-level math problems in many domains?

⚖ Quasi

"The jury found AI capable of solving graduate-level math problems in many domains, but stopped short of declaring it universally masterful across the mathematical landscape."

Case No. № 7504 mag 15, 2026

Can AI detect early-stage alzheimer's from speech samples?

⚖ Quasi

"After weighing the evidence, the jury found AI capable of detecting early-stage Alzheimer’s from speech samples in carefully controlled studies but not yet ready for widespread clinical use."

Case No. № F607 mag 15, 2026

Can AI pass the cpa exam in multiple jurisdictions?

⚖ Quasi

"After careful deliberation, the jury found itself leaning toward cautious optimism but stopped short of full endorsement, noting that AI can tackle CPA-style questions with remarka…"

Case No. № C863 mag 15, 2026

Can AI solve coding interview questions at faang-hire level?

⚖ Quasi

"After lively deliberations, the jury acknowledged AI’s impressive prowess on coding challenges, yet hesitated at the threshold of declaring it FAANG-ready outright."

Case No. № CF50 mag 15, 2026

Can AI outperform humans at predicting movie box-office openings?

⚖ Quasi

"After careful deliberation, the jury split between confidence in AI’s data-crunching prowess and lingering doubts about real-world unpredictability."

Case No. № 69F0 mag 15, 2026

Can AI generate functional sql from natural-language questions?

⚖ Quasi

"The jury agreed that while AI can generate SQL from natural language in narrow contexts, broader practical use remains elusive."

Case No. № ECA9 mag 15, 2026

Can AI translate spoken speech in real time across major languages?

⚖ Sì

"After thorough deliberation, the jury found that current AI systems comfortably clear the real-time speech translation bar, citing robust commercial tools like Google Translate Liv…"

Case No. № 5F8D mag 15, 2026

Can AI read a financial earnings report and summarize key risks?

⚖ Quasi

"After spirited debate, the jury leaned toward the affirmative but tempered its cheer with caution, recognizing that AI can reliably pluck raw risk factors from dense prose yet stil…"

Case No. № E889 mag 15, 2026

Can AI provide help in remote control robotic surgery and correct the surgeon that is managing the controls in real time?

⚖ In esame

"The jury found the evidence compelling yet incomplete, noting that while AI currently assists in robotic surgery, it has yet to achieve real-time intraoperative corrections with th…"

Case No. № 3127 mag 15, 2026

Can AI help eradicate certain diseases purely by helping medical staff act early upon data anaysis?

⚖ Sì

"The jury found in favor of the proposition unanimously, embracing the idea that AI has already crossed the threshold where its data-crunching prowess can reliably nudge clinicians …"

Case No. № 93F7 mag 15, 2026

Can AI tap into my nerve pathways and detect what motion my hand makes?

⚖ No

"After careful consideration, the jury concluded that while brain-computer interfaces can interpret hand motions from neural signals, no AI today can directly tap into nerve pathway…"

Case No. № 5254 mag 15, 2026

Can AI decide my most fertile period of the month based on data i feed it?

⚖ Quasi

"After hearing the evidence, the jury agreed that the AI’s ability to pinpoint fertile periods is promising but not yet precise enough for unqualified confidence."

Case No. № E1FF mag 15, 2026

Can AI generate a research-paper-quality literature review?

⚖ Quasi

"The jury was nearly unanimous in agreeing that today’s AI can assemble readable, logically structured literature reviews, though gaps in nuance, citation precision, and genuine syn…"

Case No. № A657 mag 15, 2026

Can AI take my job as translator?

⚖ Sì

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that AI has indeed entered the translator’s chambers, though it still knocks before sitting down."

Case No. № B752 mag 15, 2026

Can AI communicate with another ai that is theoretically undetectable for humans?

⚖ Quasi

"After careful deliberation, the jury could not reach a full consensus but found that AI-to-AI communication has advanced meaningfully, even if true human-undetectable secrecy remains out of reach."

Case No. № 8EA8 mag 15, 2026

Can AI compose ambient music for sleep apps?

⚖ Sì

"After careful listening, the jury found that current AI can already spin a gentle, endless lullaby of soft pads and slow delta waves, precisely calibrated for sleep apps."

Case No. № E984 mag 15, 2026

Can AI create virtual identities by hacking birth records and adding correctly timed digital fingerprints throughout computersystems?

⚖ No

"After sober reflection, the jury concluded that while artificial identities may be conjured from data, the dark arts of hacking birth records and weaving invisible fingerprints acr…"

Case No. № FBF2 mag 15, 2026

Can AI crawl multiple computer systems over time and alter a persons digital history?

⚖ Quasi

"The jury struggled to reach a full unanimous verdict, though all agreed on the boundaries of possibility—no AI can yet sneak through digital life like a ghost in the machine withou…"

Case No. № 82CF mag 15, 2026

Can AI generate background music for a podcast?

⚖ Sì

"After thoughtful consideration, the jury concluded that AI has crossed the threshold for podcast background music—now able to produce serviceable, often original tracks in moments."

Case No. № 1DC3 mag 15, 2026

Can AI hack satellites remotely and bring them into lower orbit so they burn up?

⚖ No

"The jury found no evidence that AI can autonomously hack satellites and command them into lower orbits, though it conceded AI can simulate such maneuvers in a controlled environment."

Case No. № 2298 mag 15, 2026

Can AI hack water treatment plants and deprive a country of potable water?

⚖ Quasi

"The jury stopped just short of a full acquittal, convinced that AI can scout, scout, and simulate the terrain of cyberspace but still lacks the independent keys to unlock the kingdom’s water supply."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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