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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 9715 elo 17, 2026

Can AI autonomously deploy drone swarms to target and neutralize enemy combatants based on facial recognition and behavior patterns without human authorization?

⚖ Ei

"The jury returned a unanimous and unequivocal verdict, finding that no present AI possesses the judgment or ethical safeguards to authorize lethal force unilaterally."

Case No. № 9EE5 elo 17, 2026

Can AI design and deploy a fully autonomous drone swarm that can independently hunt and assassinate high-value human targets with 100% accuracy?

⚖ Ei

"After sober reflection, the jury swiftly found no evidence that any machine—or machine swarm—can target a human with absolute precision outside the lab’s controlled gaze."

Case No. № B363 elo 17, 2026

Can AI make all major financial decisions for a fortune 500 company including mergers acquisitions and divestitures without human veto?

⚖ Ei

"After sober reflection, the lone juror concluded that no living artificial intelligence could be trusted to independently steer a Fortune 500 firm through the treacherous shoals of…"

Case No. № 0BC9 elo 17, 2026

Can AI compose and publish a peer-reviewed scientific paper in nature with ai-generated hypotheses methods and results without human data or analysis?

⚖ Ei

"The jury swiftly returned a unanimous verdict of NO, finding that no present AI has demonstrated the capacity to conceive, execute, and publish a peer-reviewed scientific paper in …"

Case No. № 3DE6 elo 17, 2026

Can AI create synthetic embryos from stem cells guided entirely by ai without human oversight?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found itself unanimously in firm disagreement with the proposition, citing the complete absence of any AI system capable of autonomously shepherding stem cells through the…"

Case No. № 2963 elo 17, 2026

Can AI predict and trigger localized extreme weather events by manipulating atmospheric data feeds and ocean currents using autonomous geoengineering drones?

⚖ Ei

"After sober reflection on the limits of current artificial governance and the ungovernable complexities of planetary systems, the jury returned a unanimous NO verdict."

Case No. № 8A55 elo 17, 2026

Can AI predict an individual's likelihood of developing any genetic disease with 99% accuracy using only ai analysis of their microbiome and environmental exposure data?

⚖ Ei

"The jury acknowledged impressive strides in AI-driven health predictions—particularly for conditions like diabetes and IBD—but drew a firm line at the 99% benchmark for *any* genet…"

Case No. № 4493 elo 17, 2026

Can AI autonomously rig a national election by manipulating social media microtargeting and suppressing voter turnout without detection?

⚖ Ei

"After careful deliberation, the jury concluded that while AI displays unsettling prowess in shaping microtargeted narratives and amplifying divisive content, none can yet pull off …"

Case No. № 9C43 elo 17, 2026

Can AI replace entire national treasury departments by autonomously managing currency issuance fiscal policy and public debt auctions with algorithmic stability mechanisms?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found that entrusting an AI with the full sovereignty of a nation’s treasury remains beyond the pale, not because autonomy itself is impossible, but because today’s system…"

Case No. № 011A elo 17, 2026

Can AI manipulate global carbon markets by predicting and front-running climate policy changes to trigger artificial supply shortages and price spikes?

⚖ Ei

"After sober deliberation the lone juror concluded that no presently known system—AI or otherwise—can reach so high, so fast, to corner the carbon clockwork itself."

Case No. № D3C1 elo 17, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can edit human embryos to eliminate genetic diseases and enhance intelligence using crispr and ai-guided design?

⚖ Ei

"After sober reflection, the jury concluded that no existing AI system can reliably and safely edit human embryos to eliminate disease or enhance intelligence without causing uninte…"

Case No. № 3D2B elo 17, 2026

Can AI autonomously design and deploy a self-replicating nanobot swarm to cure cancer?

⚖ Ei

"The jury unanimously rejected the proposal, finding no present or foreseeable AI capable of autonomously designing or physically deploying nanobot swarms with the required molecular precision."

Case No. № 8870 elo 17, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can translate animal vocalizations into human language, allowing people to understand animal communication?

⚖ Ei

"After careful consideration, the jury found that while AI has made progress in pattern recognition, no system can yet translate the nuanced, context-dependent meanings of animal vo…"

Case No. № 57C7 elo 17, 2026

Can AI lead a group therapy session with emotional support for participants?

⚖ Ei

"After careful consideration the jury concluded that while artificial empathy may mimic concern it cannot shoulder the full weight of human vulnerability in a room of strangers."

Case No. № CFF7 elo 17, 2026

Can AI predict the trajectory of a hurricane 48 hours before landfall with 90% accuracy?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found the evidence wanting, noting that no present AI model has yet matched the precision required for such a forecast at the specified timeframe."

Case No. № 6CF8 elo 17, 2026

Can AI beat quantum computing to the finishline by breaking general data protection methods?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found the claim of defeating quantum computing at breaking modern encryption unsupported, unanimously concluding that no present AI can dismantle standards like AES-256 wh…"

Case No. № 4BD7 elo 17, 2026

Can AI crack encryption codes by being smarter instead of raw compute?

⚖ Ei

"The jury returned a unanimous verdict of no, resting their reasoning on the hard wall of contemporary cryptography: thus far, even the brightest models have failed to crack modern …"

Case No. № 094E elo 17, 2026

Can AI predict individual personality traits and future criminal behavior with 95% accuracy using brain imaging and ai analysis?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found the claim undemonstrated in any peer-reviewed or replicable form, rendering the 95% accuracy promise unfounded in current science."

Case No. № 0FC0 elo 17, 2026

Can AI choose which cities to abandon as rising seas displace millions?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found the proposition unsustainable, concluding that risk, ethics, and human values defy algorithmic neatness; in their view, coastal planning remains an art of adaptation…"

Case No. № 31C2 elo 17, 2026

Can AI decide when to permit human extinction to prevent ai suffering?

⚖ Ei

"The jury stood united in refusing to grant such sweeping, irreversible authority to any non-human intelligence, real or simulated, finding no mechanism by which current AI could re…"

Case No. № B167 elo 17, 2026

Can AI design fully autonomous systems to regulate human population size?

⚖ Ei

"After deliberating with solemn resolve, the jury concluded that the task of autonomous population regulation remains beyond AI's reach, not for want of data or modeling prowess, bu…"

Case No. № 6D03 elo 17, 2026

Can AI notice when someone is lying to themselves?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found that while AI can spot inconsistencies or verbal tells in speech, it cannot truly perceive the inward fracture of self-deception, where the heart and the tongue spea…"

Case No. № F15D elo 17, 2026

Can AI smell whether the milk has turned?

⚖ Ei

"The jury found itself unanimous in the negative, convinced that no present-day AI nose can out-perform the cautious sniff of a human nose or even the simplest expiration-date sticker."

Case No. № AA87 elo 17, 2026

Can AI tie a fishing knot one-handed underwater?

⚖ Ei

"After hearing testimony from roboticists and knot-tying experts, the jury found no evidence that any AI system or robot can now—or in the foreseeable future—tie a fishing knot one-…"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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