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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 1C04 srp 16, 2026

Can AI generate court-ready first-draft contracts for common transactions?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury concluded that AI is a capable scribe for first-draft contracts, but not yet a trusted counselor—nuance and precision still demand a human hand in the ink."

Case No. № E75A srp 16, 2026

Can AI compose a fugue in the style of bach?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury reached its near-unanimous verdict after hearing expert testimony that while current systems can weave plausible contrapuntal threads, they cannot yet feel the living brea…"

Case No. № 00A9 srp 16, 2026

Can AI write a passable sonnet in the style of shakespeare?

⚖ Ano

"The jury moved swiftly to a unanimous verdict, convinced that today’s models can craft iambic pentameter with enough fidelity to fool a groundling."

Case No. № DFF6 srp 16, 2026

Can AI generate a realistic deepfake video of a public figure speaking?

⚖ Ano

"After weighing persuasive exhibits of publicly available tools like DeepFaceLab and StyleGAN, the jury swiftly concluded that crafting a realistic deepfake of a speaker no longer s…"

Case No. № 7344 srp 16, 2026

Can AI solve riddle problems that require multi-step lateral thinking?

⚖ Téměř

"After weighing whether artificial minds could untie the Gordian knots of lateral riddle-solving, the jury found flashes of brilliance but no lasting mastery: most steps came out st…"

Case No. № D42B srp 16, 2026

Can AI recognise emotions in faces at coarse-grained level?

⚖ Ano

"The jury found no need for hesitation—today’s systems can peer into a face and read its broad emotional weather, even if the forecast isn’t always perfect."

Case No. № 3DBB srp 16, 2026

Can AI beat the world's top humans at heads-up no-limit poker?

⚖ Ano

"The jury found that sophisticated AI models like Pluribus and Cepheus have already surpassed human capabilities in heads-up no-limit Texas hold’em, as demonstrated by their consist…"

Case No. № C5D6 srp 16, 2026

Can AI read handwriting in 50+ scripts?

⚖ Téměř

"After careful consideration, the jury acknowledged impressive strides but found the systems still stumble over certain scripts, leaving some pages unread."

Case No. № 75B2 srp 16, 2026

Can AI write fan fiction in any author's voice?

⚖ Ano

"The jury swiftly agreed that current models can convincingly channel an author’s voice, turning a prompt into prose that reads like the real deal with only light guidance."

Case No. № 5FD4 srp 16, 2026

Can AI predict the 3d structure of any protein from its amino acid sequence?

⚖ Ano

"The jury found the question answered with decisive authority by AlphaFold2's triumphant stroll across the protein-folding landscape, rendering every shred of doubt unnecessary."

Case No. № CDC3 srp 16, 2026

Can AI generate a slide presentation from a one-paragraph brief?

⚖ Ano

"After brief but spirited deliberation, the jury found that artificial intelligence has crossed the threshold from drafting bullets to designing decks with only the flimsiest of prompts."

Case No. № 984F srp 15, 2026

Can AI defeat any human at chess via deep self-play?

⚖ Ano

"With a unanimous verdict, the jury found that AI has already surpassed human mastery in chess through sheer self-instruction, turning the board into a private proving ground where …"

Case No. № 611D srp 15, 2026

Can AI beat top starcraft ii grandmasters at full-game pace?

⚖ Ano

"The jury found that AlphaStar had cleared the ladder by proving it could outmaneuver human champions in real match conditions without tilting or stalling—performance so fluid it le…"

Case No. № 5A41 srp 15, 2026

Can AI drive a car autonomously in highway and suburban traffic at scale?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury found the technology tantalizingly close but not quite ready to let a robo-chauffeur take the wheel unsupervised, noting that while dazzling demos exist, they still miss e…"

Case No. № CC4D srp 15, 2026

Can AI identify objects in photos at human-level accuracy?

⚖ Ano

"The jury found that contemporary vision models have indeed reached human-level accuracy in identifying objects within photos, citing benchmarks where cutting-edge systems like CLIP…"

Case No. № 5621 srp 15, 2026

Can AI compose a string quartet in classical-romantic style?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury took only minutes to huddle over their sheet music, the two “Almost” votes swaying in favor of a cautious yes despite no full-throated “Yes.” They agreed the model can wea…"

Case No. № 797C srp 15, 2026

Can AI compose a piano nocturne in chopin's style?

⚖ Téměř

"After hearing the lone voice of “almost,” the jury agreed that the nocturne sounded convincingly Chopin-like in its surface details yet failed to sustain the expansive emotional ar…"

Case No. № C74A srp 15, 2026

Can AI generate a photorealistic image from a text description?

⚖ Ano

"After careful inspection of current models, the jury found that three major systems already meet the standard of photorealistic generation from text, with no need to wait for tomorrow’s breakthroughs."

Case No. № A273 srp 15, 2026

Can AI solve high-school math word problems with step-by-step explanations?

⚖ Téměř

"After spirited debate, the jury could not reconcile what counts as “reliable” in a classroom where one typo flips a passing grade to failing; still, they agree AI already earns top…"

Case No. № D64A srp 15, 2026

Can AI write working code in 50+ programming languages from natural-language prompts?

⚖ Téměř

"After spirited deliberation, the jury found itself torn between awe and skepticism, with one juror fully convinced by the parade of polished polyglot snippets while another lingere…"

Case No. № 89E2 srp 15, 2026

Can AI generate a movie poster from a script logline?

⚖ Ano

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury found the capability plainly established: contemporary text-to-image systems can reliably translate script loglines into credible, context-r…"

Case No. № D146 srp 15, 2026

Can AI generate animated short scenes from a screenplay?

⚖ Téměř

"After careful consideration, the jury acknowledged that today’s AI can assemble storyboard frames or rough motion sequences from screenplays, yet it stumbles when asked to deliver …"

Case No. № 2276 srp 15, 2026

Can AI identify a song from a 5-second audio clip?

⚖ Ano

"After swift deliberation, the jury concurred that recognizing a song from a fleeting clip has been solved in practice, not theory."

Case No. № 74F7 srp 15, 2026

Can AI hold a multi-turn conversation that feels natural for ten minutes?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury found that artificial minds can indeed drift down conversational rivers for ten full minutes, though they still occasionally brush against the banks of plausibility."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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