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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 5708 srp 16, 2026

Can AI negotiate better contract terms autonomously per e-mail?

⚖ Téměř

"After weighing whether artificial agents could truly negotiate contract terms without human tethering, the jury split along a narrow but meaningful fault line: one believed autonom…"

Case No. № B327 srp 16, 2026

Can AI improve our understanding of fluid dynamics?

⚖ Ano

"After hearing testimony that AI now simulates complex flows with the precision of a veteran engineer and learns physics from the data itself, the jury returned a unanimous verdict in favor of progress."

Case No. № 11A6 srp 16, 2026

Can AI provide a list of diseases in a patient merely through analyses of saliva?

⚖ Téměř

"After lively deliberation, the jury found that AI can indeed parse disease signatures from saliva, but with a cautious asterisk—its vision is sharp yet narrow, and it sometimes mis…"

Case No. № B263 srp 16, 2026

Can AI create sheet music live by listening to music being played?

⚖ Ano

"AI can now transcribe harmony as swiftly as a court reporter takes dictation, turning chords into clefs and rhythms into rests at the very moment the music breathes."

Case No. № 01E4 srp 16, 2026

Can AI develop a chatbot that can empathetically support a person experiencing grief or loss?

⚖ Ano

"The jury swiftly concluded that today’s large language models can craft responses that feel empathetic when guided by thoughtful prompts and relevant context, enough to provide imm…"

Case No. № 6D42 srp 16, 2026

Can AI create a personalized nutrition plan that takes into account a person's genetic profile, health goals, and dietary preferences?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury found that AI can draft a nutrition plan from genetic data and personal tastes, but it still stumbles when the genes whisper louder than the grocery list."

Case No. № 8184 srp 16, 2026

Can AI design a prosthetic limb that can be controlled by a person's thoughts and muscle signals?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury acknowledged remarkable strides in brain-computer interfaces and AI’s ability to decode intent, yet found current prosthetics still fall short of replicating natural limb control."

Case No. № 6A7F srp 16, 2026

Can AI create a customized exercise plan that adapts to a person's physical limitations and goals over time?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury stood in unanimous, if cautious, agreement, awarding AI a provisional nod for adaptability while barring it from practicing medicine unsupervised; the lone Almost-vote ins…"

Case No. № 6215 srp 16, 2026

Can AI create a new sport by combining elements of existing sports and defining its rules and objectives?

⚖ Ne

"The lone juror held firm that the creative spark required to birth a new sport—rules, objectives, and all—remains uniquely human, beyond any AI's current capacity to originate and …"

Case No. № 090C srp 16, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can predict the success of a new product based on social media trends and consumer behavior?

⚖ Téměř

"After careful deliberation, the jury agreed that AI can crunch consumer data with impressive skill, yet its predictions still wobble under the weight of real-world chaos like memes and mood swings."

Case No. № 2F4B srp 16, 2026

Can AI generate a realistic and engaging script for a podcast or radio show, including dialogue and sound effects?

⚖ Ano

"After careful consideration, the jury found that artificial intelligence can now produce not just the bones of a podcast script but the flesh of engaging dialogue and the texture o…"

Case No. № 7948 srp 16, 2026

Can AI predict the likelihood of a social movement going viral based on its message and audience demographics?

⚖ Téměř

"AI may calculate the emotional temperature of a message, yet it cannot feel the fever of a movement catching fire—just as a weatherman sees the storm, but not the lightning in every heart."

Case No. № E277 srp 16, 2026

Can AI convince a child to eat a vegetable they dislike?

⚖ Téměř

"After a spirited deliberation, the jury found AI just shy of fully persuading a picky child, admiring its talent for crafting charming stories yet wary of its untested bedside manner in the wild."

Case No. № A415 srp 16, 2026

Can AI make a moral judgment in a complex, real-world scenario?

⚖ Ne

"After lengthy deliberation, the lone juror concluded that artificial systems, however sophisticated, remain fundamentally bereft of lived experience, empathy, and the intuitive sen…"

Case No. № EFA5 srp 16, 2026

Can AI detect when a friend is on the edge?

⚖ Ve zkoumání

"After spirited discussion, the jury conceded that current AI can sense sharp shifts in tone or text, yet agreed that predicting emotional cliffs in the wild remains more aspiration than achievement."

Case No. № 33E7 srp 16, 2026

Can AI know when to be quiet?

⚖ Ve zkoumání

"After spirited deliberation, the jury found itself stalled between cautious optimism and principled skepticism, with one juror reluctantly granting a tentative “almost” for context…"

Case No. № EFF5 srp 16, 2026

Can AI pick a christmas gift your mother will actually love?

⚖ Ve zkoumání

"The jury reached an impasse, marveling at how precisely the algorithm could profile taste yet still fail to predict whether Mom would keep that scarf or quietly trade it for a gift card."

Case No. № 5E0A srp 16, 2026

Can AI pass turn-based interaction turing tests for 5-minute windows?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury found that while AI can mimic human conversation in short bursts—like passing a five-minute Turing test in controlled settings—it still stumbles when the dialogue drifts i…"

Case No. № 8824 srp 16, 2026

Can AI drive a car safely through complex urban environments?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury found that today’s AI can pilot city streets—so long as the streets have already been mapped and a human is ready to take the wheel at a moment’s notice."

Case No. № 56BF srp 16, 2026

Can AI detect counterfeit currency via image?

⚖ Téměř

"After weighing the evidence, the jury found that AI can spot counterfeit currency in carefully staged images but stumbles when facing the real-world chaos of lighting, angles, and wear."

Case No. № C13E srp 16, 2026

Can AI generate empathetic-sounding text replies?

⚖ Ano

"After careful consideration, the jury concluded that artificial systems can now produce empathetic-sounding text replies with remarkable consistency—provided the conditions are rig…"

Case No. № 0DA4 srp 16, 2026

Can AI win a go match against the world champion?

⚖ Ano

"The jury found the claim proven beyond any doubt, having watched AlphaGo and its successors claim victory over the world champion in the classic Go showdown—indeed, such programs n…"

Case No. № 8ED1 srp 16, 2026

Can AI translate asl video to english text in research conditions?

⚖ Téměř

"The jury found itself both awestruck and humbled by the strides ASL-to-text translation has made, yet sobered by the gap between promise and practical precision."

Case No. № 6D40 srp 16, 2026

Can AI generate working unit tests from a description of intent?

⚖ Ano

"The jury found that AI can indeed generate working unit tests from a plain-language description of intent, and did so without a single dissenting vote."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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