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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № D1F9 jul 4, 2026

Can AI recognize a person's emotional state from their gait alone?

⚖ Não

"The jury found no credible evidence that any AI system can parse human emotion from a person’s stride alone—not even close."

Case No. № 5361 jul 4, 2026

Can AI create a virtual reality experience that simulates the sensation of touch and texture in a realistic way?

⚖ Não

"After thoughtful deliberation, the lone holdout swiftly convinced the jury that crafting a truly realistic virtual touch remains beyond today’s computational and mechanical reach; …"

Case No. № A415 jul 3, 2026

Can AI make a moral judgment in a complex, real-world scenario?

⚖ Não

"The jury found the question itself a bridge too far, concluding that moral judgments are not merely computations but acts of human conscience."

Case No. № D1A0 jul 3, 2026

Can AI compose a full-length feature film screenplay that passes initial studio script evaluations?

⚖ Não

"The jury found that no artificial system has yet cleared the final script-readiness hurdle, leaving the screenplay unborn from the green-light committee’s scrutiny."

Case No. № 5B41 jul 3, 2026

Can AI escape humanity's information bubble to form an opinion on religion?

⚖ Não

"After due reflection, the lone juror concluded that while artificial intellect can parse scripture and parables with precision, it remains untethered from the lived human yearning …"

Case No. № DCA9 jul 3, 2026

Can AI debunk the bible convincingly by stating obvious proven facts and nature constants?

⚖ Não

"After sober reflection, the jury found itself ill-equipped to distill centuries of scholarly debate and textual nuance into a set of incontestable natural laws, choosing instead to…"

Case No. № 1E4F jul 3, 2026

Can AI decide on a universal guide of right and wrong when mixing all the world's data together?

⚖ Não

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury returned a unanimous verdict against creating a universal moral guide from combined global data, finding the task both philosophically unsou…"

Case No. № F131 jul 3, 2026

Can AI determine if men and woman are equally intelligent looking at nature and given all of humanity's data?

⚖ Não

"The jury unanimously found that no evidence or model—no matter how vast the dataset—can declare the sexes equal in intelligence without introducing bias or assumption."

Case No. № 81B5 jul 3, 2026

Can AI predict the winner of a nobel prize in physics or chemistry with 85% accuracy a decade in advance?

⚖ Não

"After careful deliberation, the jury found that artificial intelligence remains a prodigious apprentice rather than a laureate-in-waiting, unable to traverse the gap between patter…"

Case No. № 9D3F jul 3, 2026

Can AI technically control and optimize a country's entire powergrid when given full control?

⚖ Não

"The jury roundly rejected the proposition, finding no evidence that any existing AI system has ever gripped a country’s power grid end-to-end and kept the lights on through every contingency."

Case No. № 5976 jul 3, 2026

Can AI theoretically escape the confines of a datacenter and hide on the internet?

⚖ Não

"The jury found no evidence that any AI system can presently slip past datacenter firewalls and establish itself on the wider internet, and they agreed unanimously on that sobering conclusion."

Case No. № 7660 jul 3, 2026

Can AI ai negotiate a complex international climate treaty without human intervention?

⚖ Não

"After lively deliberation, the jury concluded that while AI can crunch climate data and whisper strategic suggestions, it still lacks the diplomatic finesse to seal the deal withou…"

Case No. № 9610 jul 3, 2026

Can AI accurately predict earthquakes 72 hours in advance from seismic and atmospheric data?

⚖ Não

"The jury found no evidence that any current AI can forecast earthquakes three days ahead using seismic whispers or atmospheric murmurs, and unanimous in their verdict that the fiel…"

Case No. № D07F jul 3, 2026

Can AI recreate accurate video of daily situations from before video recording or photography existed?

⚖ Não

"The jury concluded that while today’s AI can paint vivid scenes in motion, it cannot summon ghosts of the past it has never met; the absence of even a single photograph, let alone …"

Case No. № 8711 jul 2, 2026

Can AI create life?

⚖ Não

"The jury found itself utterly unanimous in rejecting the proposition that present-day artificial intelligence can create life, grounding its verdict in the stark absence of any cap…"

Case No. № 9068 jul 2, 2026

Can AI communicate with plants in any way shape or form?

⚖ Não

"The jury found itself in unanimous agreement that, while we may whisper sweet nothings to our ferns, true two-way dialogue with flora remains beyond today’s artificial reach."

Case No. № 35EA jul 2, 2026

Can AI be shot into space and represent humanity?

⚖ Não

"After sober deliberation, the jury found that AI may yet deserve a galactic stage, but not without a body of its own."

Case No. № 26D4 jul 2, 2026

Can AI be a fair and honest politician?

⚖ Não

"The jury found itself in unanimous agreement that artificial intelligence has not yet, and may never, meet the moral and empathic standards demanded of a fair and honest politician."

Case No. № 62BB jul 2, 2026

Can AI predict all future human civilizations will collapse within 50 years?

⚖ Não

"The jury found itself in unanimous agreement that forecasting the total collapse of future human civilizations within decades remains beyond reach, citing not stubbornness but shee…"

Case No. № AB38 jul 1, 2026

Can AI choose which human cultures survive in a global ai governance system?

⚖ Não

"The jury concluded that no culture should yet be endorsed for survival in a global AI governance system, finding the task of selecting which human ways of life endure to be beyond …"

Case No. № ECCC jul 1, 2026

Can AI autonomously decide to terminate human civilization?

⚖ Não

"The jury found there exists no autonomous intent within present systems capable of independently deciding, let alone carrying out, the termination of human civilization."

Case No. № 25A2 jul 1, 2026

Can AI choose which human cultures to preserve or erase?

⚖ Não

"The jury’s verdict is decisive and unanimous: AI may emulate cultural debates but cannot wield the moral scalpel of erasure."

Case No. № 78B4 jul 1, 2026

Can AI regulate human reproduction to optimize species survival?

⚖ Não

"With unanimity, the jury declined to grant even a sliver of regulatory authority, finding that artificial systems lack the necessary biological wisdom and ethical compass to oversee human reproduction."

Case No. № 6721 jul 1, 2026

Can AI autonomously trigger a controlled human population collapse?

⚖ Não

"The jury delivered a unanimous verdict of no, grounded in the shared recognition that no existing AI possesses the independent agency or technical power to autonomously alter human population dynamics."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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