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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 9A22 jul 3, 2026

Can AI ai predict a person’s sexual orientation based on written text analysis?

⚖ Quase

"The jury strained to find consensus between caution and curiosity, recognizing that AI can parse linguistic patterns but has yet to forge a trustworthy link to sexual orientation f…"

Case No. № D2D0 jul 3, 2026

Can AI edit 3d scenes from text instructions?

⚖ Quase

"The jury acknowledged that text-guided editing of 3D scenes is no longer pure fantasy, yet consensus wavered over how far the technology has truly progressed beyond fragile demos."

Case No. № 0620 jul 3, 2026

Can AI predict civil unrest or riots 2 weeks ahead using social media and economic?

⚖ Quase

"The jury found AI capable of reading the tea leaves of civil unrest—with a warning that the cup is cracked."

Case No. № DED8 jul 3, 2026

Can AI determine a perceived pain level by monitoring bodily metrics or brain activity?

⚖ Quase

"The jury conceded that machines can now peer into the body and read the flicker of pain with remarkable precision, yet the lone doubter insisted a threshold of certainty remained b…"

Case No. № 9691 jul 3, 2026

Can AI create a universal pain level scale based on many individual perceptions of pain?

⚖ Quase

"The jury conceded that no single scale could ever capture the full spectrum of human suffering, yet they acknowledged that AI can still assemble and refine partial maps of pain by …"

Case No. № E1EC jul 3, 2026

Can AI teach a child to speak different languages through daily interaction?

⚖ Quase

"The jury found that AI can mimic the rhythm and vocabulary of child-directed speech but cannot yet replace the intuitive warmth and contextual bonding a human caregiver provides."

Case No. № 1097 jul 3, 2026

Can AI generate personalized cancer treatment regimens from genomic and clinical trial data?

⚖ Quase

"The jury recognized that AI has advanced sufficiently to parse genomic sequences and cross-reference clinical trials, yet it remains one courtroom shy of delivering bespoke regimen…"

Case No. № DB05 jul 3, 2026

Can AI discover new mathematical questions and their solutions?

⚖ Quase

"After due deliberation, the jury found AI capable of seeding new mathematical inquiries and occasional solutions, but not yet of sustaining a corpus of widely accepted or rigorously verified theorems."

Case No. № 30F3 jul 3, 2026

Can AI control city wide traffic lights to reduce traffic pressure or waiting times?

⚖ Quase

"The jury found that AI can indeed tune traffic lights to shave peak-hour waits, yet it has not yet scaled to every boulevard and backstreet with consistent success."

Case No. № 746D jul 3, 2026

Can AI extract all individual conversations from recordings of a crowd of people?

⚖ Quase

"After spirited debate, the jury found the AI capable of whispering one voice at a time from the noisy chatter but not yet fluent in the full cacophony of human overlap."

Case No. № 3F88 jul 3, 2026

Can AI replace me as a legal aid?

⚖ Quase

"After deliberating with careful attention to the nuances of legal practice, the jury concluded that artificial intelligence has made meaningful strides in legal aid but stops short…"

Case No. № BE4A jul 3, 2026

Can AI get to know me better than my partner?

⚖ Quase

"The jury found itself divided but leaned toward cautious optimism, with three jurors insisting that AI can parse patterns in behavior it observes while one held out for the irreduc…"

Case No. № 0A6B jul 3, 2026

Can AI do my job as a webdeveloper?

⚖ Quase

"The jury agreed that AI can shoulder much of the daily grind of web development—generating prototypes, writing clean markup, and even squashing bugs—but stopped short of granting a…"

Case No. № 74B6 jul 3, 2026

Can AI take over my job as a translator?

⚖ Quase

"After spirited deliberation, the jury split between “yes” and “almost,” with neither camp able to coax the remaining skeptics into agreement."

Case No. № A6CA jul 3, 2026

Can AI beat top professional stratego players?

⚖ Quase

"After thorough deliberation, the jury found that while DeepNash ascended to the upper echelons of Stratego play, it has not yet claimed the absolute summit of human mastery; the ev…"

Case No. № D331 jul 3, 2026

Can AI diagnose skin cancer from a photo at dermatologist accuracy?

⚖ Quase

"The jury found itself intrigued but not entirely convinced, with one voice declaring justice done and another insisting the verdict requires one final expert testimony before signing the judgment."

Case No. № C8FC jul 3, 2026

Can AI generate a functional video-game prototype from a one-paragraph design doc?

⚖ Quase

"With a unanimous leaning toward "almost," the jury agreed that today’s AI can write functional code from a paragraph, yet struggles to deliver a fully playable prototype without hu…"

Case No. № A452 jul 3, 2026

Can AI negotiate convincingly with humans in diplomacy?

⚖ Quase

"With a split verdict between the "Almost" and "No" jurors, the court acknowledges that while AI has made impressive strides in strategic negotiation—demonstrating tactical brillian…"

Case No. № CD0C jul 3, 2026

Can AI pass the ap biology exam with the highest score?

⚖ Quase

"The jury found the AI dazzlingly close but stopped short of crowning it the undisputed valedictorian of life’s sciences; its razor precision on facts and forms left the top score t…"

Case No. № 6E98 jul 3, 2026

Can AI detect deepfakes in many common cases?

⚖ Quase

"The jury cautiously nodded toward capability but stopped short of full confidence, acknowledging that today’s best tools can flag many fakes with impressive precision yet still stu…"

Case No. № 1F8F jul 3, 2026

Can AI generate full-album-length music in a chosen artist's style?

⚖ Quase

"After spirited deliberation, the jury found that artificial intelligence has indeed cracked the first verse, but still struggles to finish the chorus without stumbling."

Case No. № 2A87 jul 2, 2026

Can AI edit raw footage into a coherent short film with prompts alone?

⚖ Quase

"The jury found that while artificial intelligence can now parse footage into rough sequences and suggest edits with impressive speed, it still stumbles when asked to judge story ar…"

Case No. № 2418 jul 2, 2026

Can AI pass the usmle medical licensing exam?

⚖ Quase

"The jury found the artificial intelligence capable of skimming the textbook, but not yet ready to open its own practice."

Case No. № A3B3 jul 2, 2026

Can AI pass the bar exam at top-decile human level?

⚖ Quase

"After careful deliberation, the jury acknowledged the remarkable strides AI has made in legal reasoning, particularly in practice exams and standardized testing segments, yet found…"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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