Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 8D94 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI write a press release from a one-line brief?

⚖ Sí

"After a brief but spirited deliberation, the jury swiftly agreed that generating a press release from a one-line brief falls well within AI’s present capabilities, marveling at how…"

Case No. № 107C jul. 2, 2026

Can AI write blog-post outlines in any niche?

⚖ Sí

"The jury found, with unanimous cheer, that AI has graduated from the napkin sketch to a full-blown blueprint stage when it comes to crafting blog-post outlines in any niche."

Case No. № 5FD9 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI pass a us driver's-license written exam in all 50 states?

⚖ Casi

"After deliberation, the jury returned a split verdict, with one juror convinced the AI could clear every written exam across all fifty states, while the other remained cautious, no…"

Case No. № 9FFC jul. 2, 2026

Can AI mediate international conflicts?

⚖ En investigación

"After careful deliberation, the jury found itself evenly split between skepticism and cautious optimism, with no clear consensus on whether AI systems can yet mediate active international disputes."

Case No. № 4A77 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI understand humor?

⚖ Casi

"After spirited debate, the panel found the accused chucklesome but not yet crowned the court jester—its wit remains a patchwork of patterned responses rather than genuine mirth."

Case No. № 6909 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI create a new language?

⚖ Casi

"The jury split between excitement and caution, with one juror convinced AI had birthed a full language overnight while the other maintained it had only captured glimpses—fragments …"

Case No. № 7965 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI predict human lifespan?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found AI’s crystal ball to be foggy but not entirely blind, splitting between cautious optimism and principled skepticism."

Case No. № 4B66 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI recognize human emotions?

⚖ Casi

"After careful consideration, the jury found that AI can mimic the appearance of emotional recognition, but stumbles when faced with the messy, nonlinear reality of human feeling—li…"

Case No. № 615D jul. 2, 2026

Can AI recommend personalised medical treatments based on patient history?

⚖ Casi

"After careful consideration, the jury found that AI has demonstrated remarkable skill in recommending personalized medical treatments for narrow conditions but has not yet earned f…"

Case No. № A45A jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate stock-photo-quality images of any subject?

⚖ Sí

"Having examined the evidence with unblinking scrutiny, the jury found that modern diffusion models now render stock-photo-quality imagery on demand—evidence so crisp it could sit o…"

Case No. № 677A jul. 2, 2026

Can AI compose a credible film score for an indie movie?

⚖ Casi

"After spirited debate between the aesthetic purists and the pragmatic producers, the jury concluded that artificial intelligence can indeed deliver a competent indie-film score—tho…"

Case No. № 5AAA jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate marketing copy in any specified brand voice?

⚖ Sí

"The jury found that AI’s prowess at crafting marketing copy in any brand voice has graduated from rough draft to polished final version, with both jurors swiftly agreeing that spec…"

Case No. № 1F0B jul. 2, 2026

Can AI determine where i am in 10 yes or no questions?

⚖ Sí

"After lively deliberation, the jury agreed that wit alone could outfox a guessing game, if the game were played with a deck stacked by clever clues and cumulative logic."

Case No. № 6595 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI convert handwritten notes to clean text?

⚖ Sí

"The jury agreed—converting scrawled notes into tidy print is already here, not just around the corner."

Case No. № 2938 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate a 10-minute educational video from a textbook chapter?

⚖ Casi

"The jurors agreed that artificial intelligence can now write scripts, lend its voice to narration, and illustrate concepts with visuals, yet it still stumbles when stitching every …"

Case No. № DF36 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI compose original chiptune music?

⚖ Sí

"The jury found the evidence persuasive, noting that specialized generative models already compose original chiptune melodies indistinguishable from human-made tracks, delivering au…"

Case No. № 2AA0 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI outperform radiologists at certain tumor-detection benchmarks?

⚖ Sí

"The jury returned a unanimous verdict in favor of artificial intelligence, finding that today’s systems exceed radiologist performance on select tumor-detection benchmarks."

Case No. № BEF0 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI translate poetry while preserving rhyme and meter?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found the AI capable of dancing close to the line—able to waltz through meter and clap out rhyme in tightly choreographed poetic styles, though it still stumbles when aske…"

Case No. № 30DB jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate code review comments on production pull requests?

⚖ Sí

"The jury found definitively that artificial intelligence can now draft production-worthy pull-request review comments, even as one panelist gently cautioned that contextual depth s…"

Case No. № 8486 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate a full website mockup from a one-paragraph description?

⚖ Casi

"After lively debate, the jury conceded that AI can indeed conjure a website’s skeleton from a paragraph’s whisper—color, fonts, and all—yet stumbled when asked to make that mockup …"

Case No. № 77B2 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI land a rocket booster on a moving barge?

⚖ Sí

"The jury reached a unanimous verdict of yes, finding that modern autonomous guidance systems have already proven capable of threading the needle between rocket velocity and barge d…"

Case No. № 12BB jul. 2, 2026

Can AI identify depression markers in writing samples?

⚖ Sí

"The jury found that artificial intelligence, leveraging both clinical validation and natural language processing, has matured sufficiently to identify depression markers in writing…"

Case No. № B855 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI pilot a small drone autonomously through obstacles?

⚖ Sí

"With near-unanimous consensus, the jury agreed that autonomous drone pilots have cleared takeoff and are cruising at operational altitude—Skydio and DJI have already logged thousan…"

Case No. № FFE5 jul. 2, 2026

Can AI generate functional podcast scripts from a topic outline?

⚖ Sí

"With near-unanimity the jury affirmed that today’s large language models can indeed transmute a simple topic outline into a serviceable podcast script, though they noted the output…"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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