Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 3AC9 may. 15, 2026

Can AI identify early-stage lung cancer from breath biomarkers using portable electronic noses?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found that the technology has taken promising steps in controlled studies and working demos, but its real-world performance remains too untested for a full endorsement."

Case No. № 6A9D may. 15, 2026

Can AI predict heart failure hospitalization risk using patient-generated ecg data from smartwatches?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found itself swayed by impressive demonstrations yet equally sobered by the absence of broad clinical validation, all while acknowledging the narrow but promising progress…"

Case No. № 1234 may. 15, 2026

Can AI estimate osteoporosis risk from routine dental x-rays of jaw bone density?

⚖ Casi

"After thoughtful deliberation, the jury found itself convinced that AI has crossed the threshold of recognizing jawbone density on dental films but stops short of delivering a clin…"

Case No. № 1212 may. 15, 2026

Can AI detect parkinson’s from subtle voice changes in a 30-second recording?

⚖ Casi

"The jury could not muster full unanimity, but the line was clearly between confidence in controlled studies and hesitation about real-world deployment, with no voice raised in outright denial."

Case No. № F9E4 may. 15, 2026

Can AI predict epileptic seizures five minutes in advance using eeg headband data?

⚖ Casi

"After deliberation, the jury found the case too promising to dismiss, yet too cautious to affirm outright: many saw promising demos but none could swear to a foolproof method under…"

Case No. № 1FDC may. 15, 2026

Can AI diagnose endometriosis from menstrual cycle irregularities detected in period-tracking app data?

⚖ Casi

"The jury sifted through the data like a gynecologist leafing through a patient’s chart, nodding at pattern-spotting but balking at diagnosis."

Case No. № 8DC3 may. 15, 2026

Can AI detect early-stage parkinson’s disease from subtle voice tremors in phone calls?

⚖ Casi

"After weighing the evidence, the jury agreed that artificial intelligence can spot the telltale wobble in a voice long before symptoms become obvious—but only if the phone call hap…"

Case No. № 984D may. 15, 2026

Can AI predict individual cancer relapse risk using tumor genetic sequencing?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found AI capable of crunching tumor genetics to flag relapse risk, but not yet precise enough for bedside decisions."

Case No. № FA8E may. 15, 2026

Can AI detect deepfake videos by analyzing microscopic inconsistencies in blinking patterns?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found that artificial eyes can spot AI blinks, but only in the lab; when faced with real-world high-definition fakes, the evidence wavers and the verdict drifts away."

Case No. № 0B0E may. 15, 2026

Can AI predict multiple sclerosis flare-ups from changes in smartphone typing speed patterns?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found clear promise in the data but stopped short of declaring victory, noting that while keystroke analytics can flag subtle changes tied to neurological shifts, real-wor…"

Case No. № 5F03 may. 15, 2026

Can AI identify early huntington’s disease from subtle changes in eye movement while reading long text?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found reason to pause but not to dismiss, agreeing that eye-tracking AI can spot tiny tremors in gaze but has yet to clinch the case for Huntington’s in the wild world of long-form reading."

Case No. № 4B36 may. 15, 2026

Can AI predict rheumatoid arthritis exacerbations from voice tremors detected in phone calls?

⚖ Casi

"After deep deliberation, the jury concluded that while AI can detect voice tremors from phone calls with growing confidence, it has not yet earned unqualified trust in forecasting …"

Case No. № 1157 may. 15, 2026

Can AI diagnose early-stage alzheimer’s using subtle changes in speech patterns?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found the technology capable of sniffing out Alzheimer’s whispers in speech, yet still unsure where the whisper ends and the wind begins."

Case No. № 4829 may. 15, 2026

Can AI diagnose early-stage parkinson’s from subtle handwriting tremors in digitized notes?

⚖ Casi

"The jury reached near-unanimity with four ballots of ALMOST, recognizing the model’s ability to uncover subtle tremors in digitized handwriting while stopping short of clinical rea…"

Case No. № F598 may. 15, 2026

Can AI identify tuberculosis from cough audio recordings with better accuracy than human clinicians?

⚖ Casi

"The jury leaned toward “Almost,” acknowledging the promise of AI models in detecting tuberculosis from cough recordings but noting their uneven performance in varied settings."

Case No. № E6DA may. 15, 2026

Can AI differentiate between bacterial and viral infections in sinusitis using facial thermal imaging?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found the evidence tantalizing but insufficient, noting that thermal imaging can hint at infection patterns though no system yet proves trustworthy in the wild."

Case No. № CA17 may. 15, 2026

Can AI predict sickle cell crisis episodes from wearable device biometrics with 12-hour lead time?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found that AI can flag early whispers of an impending crisis in controlled trials, yet it stumbles when asked to forecast a full twelve-hour horizon across real-world wearers."

Case No. № AD11 may. 15, 2026

Can AI generate personalized chemotherapy regimens by analyzing tumor microenvironment images?

⚖ Casi

"After weighing the evidence, the jury found AI capable of parsing tumor images but stopped short of endorsing it as a solo oncologist; the halfway mark reflected its promise as a c…"

Case No. № 89FD may. 15, 2026

Can AI generate personalized diet plans based on gut microbiome dna data?

⚖ Casi

"The jury nodded to AI’s skill at parsing gut data, yet hesitated at the threshold of clinical authority; three jurors saw tools in need of further validation, while one hailed the …"

Case No. № 597E may. 15, 2026

Can AI reconstruct 3d bone structures from standard x-ray images?

⚖ Casi

"After spirited deliberation, the jurors agreed that AI can indeed spin straw (flat images) into gold (solid models), but only when given more than one straw to work with; lone X-ra…"

Case No. № D39E may. 15, 2026

Can AI identify rare genetic disorders from facial photographs?

⚖ Casi

"With measured enthusiasm, the jury found that artificial intelligence has glimpsed the outlines of diagnosis but still stumbles at the threshold of full reliability."

Case No. № 1FE3 may. 15, 2026

Can AI predict diabetes progression using retinal imaging data?

⚖ Casi

"After careful deliberation, the jury found that AI has made remarkable strides in parsing retinal images for diabetes indicators, yet it stops just short of delivering a clinical v…"

Case No. № D84E may. 15, 2026

Can AI predict urban air pollution levels at street level using satellite and traffic data?

⚖ Casi

"The jury split narrowly between “yes” and “almost,” resting their decision on whether city-scale deployment counts as routine."

Case No. № 5FED may. 15, 2026

Can AI control swarms of drones?

⚖ Casi

"After lively debate, the jury agreed that AI can herd drones in neat formations—like a very organized flock of birds—yet still stumbles when those skies get crowded or curious byst…"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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