Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 6215 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI create a new sport by combining elements of existing sports and defining its rules and objectives?

⚖ Casi

"After lively deliberation, the jury acknowledged the generative spark of artificial creativity but found that spark insufficient to fully ignite an original sport; the system could…"

Case No. № 090C jul. 3, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can predict the success of a new product based on social media trends and consumer behavior?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found the system promising yet premature, acknowledging AI’s keen eye for patterns in chatter and clicks but stopping short of trusting its crystal ball for success."

Case No. № 7948 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI predict the likelihood of a social movement going viral based on its message and audience demographics?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found AI capable of sketching the rough outlines of a viral social movement with far more accuracy than a coin flip, yet still stumbled when the crowd’s mood changed overnight."

Case No. № EFF5 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI pick a christmas gift your mother will actually love?

⚖ Casi

"The jury reached a near-unanimous stalemate, with only one juror leaning toward “almost” after determining that while an AI can mine preferences and suggest options with eerie prec…"

Case No. № 5E0A jul. 3, 2026

Can AI pass turn-based interaction turing tests for 5-minute windows?

⚖ Casi

"After weighing testimony that today’s large language models can sail through short, tightly scripted Turing-style exchanges while still stumbling when the wind shifts or the topic …"

Case No. № 8824 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI drive a car safely through complex urban environments?

⚖ Casi

"After careful deliberation, the jury returned a near-unanimous verdict of ALMOST, finding that while autonomous vehicles can navigate controlled urban environments with impressive …"

Case No. № 8ED1 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI translate asl video to english text in research conditions?

⚖ Casi

"The jury concluded that ASL-to-English translation has made remarkable strides in controlled settings, where gestures are clear and vocabulary is limited, but still stumbles when c…"

Case No. № E75A jul. 3, 2026

Can AI compose a fugue in the style of bach?

⚖ Casi

"After careful consideration, the jury found that while artificial intelligence can mimic the intricate counterpoint and tonal architecture of a Bach fugue, it stumbles in sustainin…"

Case No. № 5A41 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI drive a car autonomously in highway and suburban traffic at scale?

⚖ Casi

"After lively deliberation, the jury split between the thrill of the open road and the stillness of the parking brake, with one juror clinging to the promise of the road-tested pres…"

Case No. № 5621 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI compose a string quartet in classical-romantic style?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found that while AI can draft the skeleton of a string quartet that nods toward classical-romantic traditions, it stumbles when asked to weave the living tissue of emotion…"

Case No. № 797C jul. 3, 2026

Can AI compose a piano nocturne in chopin's style?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found the AI’s nocturne technically proficient but emotionally hollow, praising its mimicry of Chopin’s form while regretting its failure to breathe with human longing."

Case No. № D146 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI generate animated short scenes from a screenplay?

⚖ Casi

"The lone ALMOST juror reasoned that while artificial intelligence can conjure individual frames or fleeting moments with uncanny precision, stitching those snippets into fluid, coh…"

Case No. № 221B jul. 3, 2026

Can AI recognize faces across years of aging?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found the star witness credible in controlled demonstrations but balked at real-world wrinkles and shifting hairstyles, leaving long-term reliability unsolved."

Case No. № 4ADD jul. 3, 2026

Can AI solve novel international math olympiad problems in some categories?

⚖ Casi

"The jury grappled between admiration for AI’s mathematical prowess and skepticism over its ability to generalize across all Olympiad domains."

Case No. № 1AF7 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI generate functional ios app prototypes from a description?

⚖ Casi

"The jury concluded that while AI can sketch interfaces and cobble together fragments of SwiftUI, it still stumbles when tasked with assembling a legal App Store submission—that las…"

Case No. № 636C jul. 3, 2026

Can AI come up with new theories of the fundamentals of the universe based on the vast data humanity collects?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found that artificial intelligence excels at sifting through cosmic ledgers of data, yet struggles to birth theories with the sturdiness of marble—it can whisper patterns …"

Case No. № 6F55 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI simulate emotions to the extend that a meaningful and longlasting relationship with a human being can develop?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found that today’s AI can mimic emotion so convincingly that fleeting bonds may bloom, yet no participant believed those connections could endure without the spark of real feeling."

Case No. № D782 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI perform automated full daily health diagnosis based on stool and urine samples in a toilet?

⚖ Casi

"The jury wrestled between cautious optimism and hard limits, with a lone voice insisting that today’s AI can glimpse health signals but not yet divine them from daily deposits."

Case No. № C78C jul. 3, 2026

Can AI determine human traits or characteristic inclinations based on dna sequencing?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found that AI has made meaningful progress in reading human traits from DNA, enough to chart a path but not yet to declare a full atlas of the soul."

Case No. № FFAB jul. 3, 2026

Can AI find precursors of metal fatigue based on (x-ray) imagery?

⚖ Casi

"AI has shown it can spot metal fatigue in images about as well as a seasoned inspector, but it still stumbles when the cracks are thin as whispers or the lighting turns tricky."

Case No. № 717C jul. 3, 2026

Can AI see which fruits in a grocery store are about to go bad?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found the AI capable of seeing rot in theory but not in the chaos of a grocery aisle."

Case No. № 1CD7 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI translate regional dialects into standard language in real time during a live conversation?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found that AI has cracked the code on common dialects in live conversation, though rare or rapidly evolving speech remains a challenge."

Case No. № C989 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI design a drug compound that binds to a specific protein target without prior experimental data?

⚖ Casi

"The jury found that today’s AI can draft novel drug-like molecules with uncanny speed, yet each promising design still demands a lab’s sober gaze before it may be called medicine."

Case No. № 9A22 jul. 3, 2026

Can AI ai predict a person’s sexual orientation based on written text analysis?

⚖ Casi

"The jury strained to find consensus between caution and curiosity, recognizing that AI can parse linguistic patterns but has yet to forge a trustworthy link to sexual orientation f…"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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