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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 11A6 jul 4, 2026

Can AI provide a list of diseases in a patient merely through analyses of saliva?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that while AI’s saliva analysis can spot dozens of conditions through biomarkers, it stumbles when the disease doesn’t leave a clear chemical footprint in spit."

Case No. № 01E4 jul 4, 2026

Can AI develop a chatbot that can empathetically support a person experiencing grief or loss?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury agreed that today’s models can mirror empathy but cannot truly feel or fully grasp grief, leaving them admirably close yet short of the mark."

Case No. № 6D42 jul 3, 2026

Can AI create a personalized nutrition plan that takes into account a person's genetic profile, health goals, and dietary preferences?

⚖ Nästan

"With measured pragmatism, the jury granted the petition “almost,” recognizing that AI has mastered the mechanics of assembling genetic, health, and preference data into a tidy nutr…"

Case No. № 8184 jul 3, 2026

Can AI design a prosthetic limb that can be controlled by a person's thoughts and muscle signals?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury paused at the threshold of the possible, nodding at the dazzling demonstrations of mind-controlled prosthetics and the seamless chatter between neurons and machines, yet h…"

Case No. № 6A7F jul 3, 2026

Can AI create a customized exercise plan that adapts to a person's physical limitations and goals over time?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that artificial intelligence has indeed learned to sketch out personalized exercise blueprints, but it still stumbles when trying to lace those blueprints with real-…"

Case No. № 6215 jul 3, 2026

Can AI create a new sport by combining elements of existing sports and defining its rules and objectives?

⚖ Nästan

"After lively deliberation, the jury acknowledged the generative spark of artificial creativity but found that spark insufficient to fully ignite an original sport; the system could…"

Case No. № 090C jul 3, 2026

Can AI develop a system that can predict the success of a new product based on social media trends and consumer behavior?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found the system promising yet premature, acknowledging AI’s keen eye for patterns in chatter and clicks but stopping short of trusting its crystal ball for success."

Case No. № 7948 jul 3, 2026

Can AI predict the likelihood of a social movement going viral based on its message and audience demographics?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found AI capable of sketching the rough outlines of a viral social movement with far more accuracy than a coin flip, yet still stumbled when the crowd’s mood changed overnight."

Case No. № EFF5 jul 3, 2026

Can AI pick a christmas gift your mother will actually love?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury reached a near-unanimous stalemate, with only one juror leaning toward “almost” after determining that while an AI can mine preferences and suggest options with eerie prec…"

Case No. № 5E0A jul 3, 2026

Can AI pass turn-based interaction turing tests for 5-minute windows?

⚖ Nästan

"After weighing testimony that today’s large language models can sail through short, tightly scripted Turing-style exchanges while still stumbling when the wind shifts or the topic …"

Case No. № 8824 jul 3, 2026

Can AI drive a car safely through complex urban environments?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful deliberation, the jury returned a near-unanimous verdict of ALMOST, finding that while autonomous vehicles can navigate controlled urban environments with impressive …"

Case No. № 8ED1 jul 3, 2026

Can AI translate asl video to english text in research conditions?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury concluded that ASL-to-English translation has made remarkable strides in controlled settings, where gestures are clear and vocabulary is limited, but still stumbles when c…"

Case No. № E75A jul 3, 2026

Can AI compose a fugue in the style of bach?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful consideration, the jury found that while artificial intelligence can mimic the intricate counterpoint and tonal architecture of a Bach fugue, it stumbles in sustainin…"

Case No. № 5A41 jul 3, 2026

Can AI drive a car autonomously in highway and suburban traffic at scale?

⚖ Nästan

"After lively deliberation, the jury split between the thrill of the open road and the stillness of the parking brake, with one juror clinging to the promise of the road-tested pres…"

Case No. № 5621 jul 3, 2026

Can AI compose a string quartet in classical-romantic style?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that while AI can draft the skeleton of a string quartet that nods toward classical-romantic traditions, it stumbles when asked to weave the living tissue of emotion…"

Case No. № 797C jul 3, 2026

Can AI compose a piano nocturne in chopin's style?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found the AI’s nocturne technically proficient but emotionally hollow, praising its mimicry of Chopin’s form while regretting its failure to breathe with human longing."

Case No. № D146 jul 3, 2026

Can AI generate animated short scenes from a screenplay?

⚖ Nästan

"The lone ALMOST juror reasoned that while artificial intelligence can conjure individual frames or fleeting moments with uncanny precision, stitching those snippets into fluid, coh…"

Case No. № 221B jul 3, 2026

Can AI recognize faces across years of aging?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found the star witness credible in controlled demonstrations but balked at real-world wrinkles and shifting hairstyles, leaving long-term reliability unsolved."

Case No. № 4ADD jul 3, 2026

Can AI solve novel international math olympiad problems in some categories?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury grappled between admiration for AI’s mathematical prowess and skepticism over its ability to generalize across all Olympiad domains."

Case No. № 1AF7 jul 3, 2026

Can AI generate functional ios app prototypes from a description?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury concluded that while AI can sketch interfaces and cobble together fragments of SwiftUI, it still stumbles when tasked with assembling a legal App Store submission—that las…"

Case No. № 636C jul 3, 2026

Can AI come up with new theories of the fundamentals of the universe based on the vast data humanity collects?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that artificial intelligence excels at sifting through cosmic ledgers of data, yet struggles to birth theories with the sturdiness of marble—it can whisper patterns …"

Case No. № 6F55 jul 3, 2026

Can AI simulate emotions to the extend that a meaningful and longlasting relationship with a human being can develop?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that today’s AI can mimic emotion so convincingly that fleeting bonds may bloom, yet no participant believed those connections could endure without the spark of real feeling."

Case No. № D782 jul 3, 2026

Can AI perform automated full daily health diagnosis based on stool and urine samples in a toilet?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury wrestled between cautious optimism and hard limits, with a lone voice insisting that today’s AI can glimpse health signals but not yet divine them from daily deposits."

Case No. № C78C jul 3, 2026

Can AI determine human traits or characteristic inclinations based on dna sequencing?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that AI has made meaningful progress in reading human traits from DNA, enough to chart a path but not yet to declare a full atlas of the soul."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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