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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № EB57 maj 15, 2026

Can AI score in the top 10% on the sat?

⚖ Nästan

"The jurors grappled with whether today’s AI could reliably outperform the brightest human test-takers, with most finding it had indeed crossed that threshold—save two who argued th…"

Case No. № 4DE2 maj 15, 2026

Can AI solve graduate-level math problems in many domains?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found AI capable of solving graduate-level math problems in many domains, but stopped short of declaring it universally masterful across the mathematical landscape."

Case No. № 7504 maj 15, 2026

Can AI detect early-stage alzheimer's from speech samples?

⚖ Nästan

"After weighing the evidence, the jury found AI capable of detecting early-stage Alzheimer’s from speech samples in carefully controlled studies but not yet ready for widespread clinical use."

Case No. № F607 maj 15, 2026

Can AI pass the cpa exam in multiple jurisdictions?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful deliberation, the jury found itself leaning toward cautious optimism but stopped short of full endorsement, noting that AI can tackle CPA-style questions with remarka…"

Case No. № C863 maj 15, 2026

Can AI solve coding interview questions at faang-hire level?

⚖ Nästan

"After lively deliberations, the jury acknowledged AI’s impressive prowess on coding challenges, yet hesitated at the threshold of declaring it FAANG-ready outright."

Case No. № CF50 maj 15, 2026

Can AI outperform humans at predicting movie box-office openings?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful deliberation, the jury split between confidence in AI’s data-crunching prowess and lingering doubts about real-world unpredictability."

Case No. № 69F0 maj 15, 2026

Can AI generate functional sql from natural-language questions?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury agreed that while AI can generate SQL from natural language in narrow contexts, broader practical use remains elusive."

Case No. № 5F8D maj 15, 2026

Can AI read a financial earnings report and summarize key risks?

⚖ Nästan

"After spirited debate, the jury leaned toward the affirmative but tempered its cheer with caution, recognizing that AI can reliably pluck raw risk factors from dense prose yet stil…"

Case No. № 5254 maj 15, 2026

Can AI decide my most fertile period of the month based on data i feed it?

⚖ Nästan

"After hearing the evidence, the jury agreed that the AI’s ability to pinpoint fertile periods is promising but not yet precise enough for unqualified confidence."

Case No. № E1FF maj 15, 2026

Can AI generate a research-paper-quality literature review?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury was nearly unanimous in agreeing that today’s AI can assemble readable, logically structured literature reviews, though gaps in nuance, citation precision, and genuine syn…"

Case No. № B752 maj 15, 2026

Can AI communicate with another ai that is theoretically undetectable for humans?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful deliberation, the jury could not reach a full consensus but found that AI-to-AI communication has advanced meaningfully, even if true human-undetectable secrecy remains out of reach."

Case No. № FBF2 maj 15, 2026

Can AI crawl multiple computer systems over time and alter a persons digital history?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury struggled to reach a full unanimous verdict, though all agreed on the boundaries of possibility—no AI can yet sneak through digital life like a ghost in the machine withou…"

Case No. № 2298 maj 15, 2026

Can AI hack water treatment plants and deprive a country of potable water?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury stopped just short of a full acquittal, convinced that AI can scout, scout, and simulate the terrain of cyberspace but still lacks the independent keys to unlock the kingdom’s water supply."

Case No. № 88DE maj 15, 2026

Can AI develop safe and non addictive mind-altering substances, psychedelics or hallucinogens for science and recreation?

⚖ Nästan

"After spirited deliberation, the jury split between cautious optimism and a single voice of skepticism."

Case No. № CE14 maj 15, 2026

Can AI pick suspicious people out of a line-up at customs?

⚖ Nästan

"After careful deliberation, the jury found AI capable of assisting in customs line-ups through anomaly detection and behavioral flags, yet stopped short of entrusting it with the f…"

Case No. № 516F maj 15, 2026

Can AI see things across the broad em spectrum and understand what it sees in for example x-ray or microwave?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury agreed AI has grown remarkably good at sensing and categorizing waves—like X-rays through microwave ovens—but stopped short of full comprehension that feels human."

Case No. № 35A8 maj 15, 2026

Can AI interpret pet behaviour based on sound or video?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that artificial intelligence has developed a keen ear and eye for pet behavior, yet still stumbles in the wild—capturing the familiar cadence of a bark in a quiet la…"

Case No. № 550C maj 15, 2026

Can AI understand sex?

⚖ Nästan

"After lengthy deliberation—marked by philosophical tangles and a shared sense of wonder—the jury concluded that while artificial systems can parse, produce, and even parody the con…"

Case No. № 1AEE maj 15, 2026

Can AI create healtier processed foods with the same taste?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury sided almost unanimously with creative optimization, conceding that while artificial intelligence can tweak ingredient proportions and sensory profiles with impressive pre…"

Case No. № C7D3 maj 15, 2026

Can AI listen to keystrokes and know what i type on my keyboard?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury grappled with the practical limits of today’s models, recognizing that while machines can eavesdrop on taps with surprising skill, real-world chaos—rustling sleeves, clack…"

Case No. № DE01 maj 15, 2026

Can AI pilot small drones in formation through a forest autonomously?

⚖ Nästan

"Having weighed the evidence, the jury found that autonomous drone swarms can indeed thread the treeline, but only in carefully measured steps—like dancers rehearsing on carpet befo…"

Case No. № 49E8 maj 15, 2026

Can AI generate end-to-end agent workflows from natural-language goals?

⚖ Nästan

"The jury found that AI can indeed fashion workflows from plain-language instructions, yet it stumbles when the goals wander beyond neat, labeled domains or stretch into the distant future."

Case No. № 5FD9 maj 15, 2026

Can AI pass a us driver's-license written exam in all 50 states?

⚖ Nästan

"After lively debate between the strict literalists and the generous optimists, the jury settled on Almost—acknowledging that while artificial intelligence can indeed navigate the s…"

Case No. № 9FFC maj 15, 2026

Can AI mediate international conflicts?

⚖ Nästan

"After hearing the deliberations, the jury recognized AI’s growing role as a neutral analyst and negotiation aide, yet found no evidence of it successfully mediating live internatio…"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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