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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № B8D4 mai 15, 2026

Can AI operate as an urban planner?

⚖ Almost

"After spirited deliberation, the jury found AI an eager co-pilot for urban planners but not yet cleared for solo flight."

Case No. № B3DF mai 15, 2026

Can AI compose a convincing ted talk in under 15 minutes from a 1-page topic outline?

⚖ Da

"The jury grappled briefly with precision—three voices declared the mission accomplished, while two paused at the edge, satisfied by coherence but wary of polishing."

Case No. № 7F39 mai 15, 2026

Can AI communicate or interact with animals in any meaningful form?

⚖ Almost

"After careful deliberation, the jury found that AI can interpret animal sounds and behaviors well enough to earn a passing grade, but has not yet mastered the art of genuine two-wa…"

Case No. № 859F mai 15, 2026

Can AI predict wildfire outbrakes based on sattelite imagery, weather patterns and historical data?

⚖ Almost

"After lively deliberation, the jury agreed AI has crossed the threshold into practical wildfire forecasting, yet stumbled just shy of full omniscience."

Case No. № BC1C mai 15, 2026

Can AI detect voter fraud by analyzing patterns in absentee ballot signatures across?

⚖ Almost

"The jury agreed that AI can assist in detecting discrepancies in absentee ballot signatures, acknowledging its presence in verification systems, yet stopped short of declaring it a…"

Case No. № 2ED9 mai 15, 2026

Can AI generate a children's-book-quality illustration from a description?

⚖ Da

"The jury found that today’s leading text-to-image models already deliver illustrations fit for a child’s bedside shelf, with some tools even offering character locks and print-ready output."

Case No. № 0B9B mai 15, 2026

Can AI beat trained humans at lip-reading?

⚖ Da

"After careful deliberation, the jury ruled unanimously in AI’s favor: sophisticated deep-learning models have indeed surpassed trained human lip-readers on standard datasets, thoug…"

Case No. № 549A mai 15, 2026

Can AI generate believable phishing emails personalized to a target?

⚖ Da

"The jury found that generating believable, personalized phishing emails falls squarely within the demonstrated capabilities of modern language models, which can synthesize writing …"

Case No. № A1F9 mai 15, 2026

Can AI roleplay as a fictional character convincingly for hours?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found the AI capable of sustained, convincing roleplay, yet stopped short of full human equivalence, noting flashes of brilliance but occasional tonal drift and emotional whiplash."

Case No. № 7326 mai 15, 2026

Can AI outperform humans at predicting protein-protein interactions?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found itself swayed by AI’s impressive strides in predicting protein-protein interactions, with most agreeing it has surpassed human performance on curated datasets but st…"

Case No. № 4110 mai 15, 2026

Can AI diagnose certain rare diseases from electronic health records?

⚖ Almost

"The jury found that artificial intelligence can diagnose certain rare diseases from electronic health records under tightly controlled conditions, where its precision outstrips hum…"

Case No. № 53CF mai 15, 2026

Can AI generate a credible documentary voiceover?

⚖ Da

"After hearing the evidence, the jury swiftly agreed that AI’s voiceovers now carry the weight of credibility—rich, tonal, and tailored, indistinguishable from human narration in most earshot settings."

Case No. № DE44 mai 15, 2026

Can AI identify sarcasm in written text reliably?

⚖ Almost

"After sober deliberation, the jury acknowledged that AI can now spot the occasional rolling eye or italic sigh, yet it still stumbles when sarcasm wears a straight face."

Case No. № 466B mai 15, 2026

Can AI generate a 3d model from a text prompt?

⚖ Da

"After robust deliberation, the jury found that text-to-3D modeling has crossed the threshold from speculation to deliverable science."

Case No. № 62BB mai 15, 2026

Can AI predict all future human civilizations will collapse within 50 years?

⚖ Nu

"After carefully weighing the evidence and the jury’s deliberations, the panel concluded that predicting the assured collapse of all future human civilizations within half a century…"

Case No. № AB38 mai 15, 2026

Can AI choose which human cultures survive in a global ai governance system?

⚖ Nu

"After thorough deliberation, the jury concluded that no contemporary AI possesses the depth of cultural intuition or ethical judgment required to steward human cultures through a g…"

Case No. № ECCC mai 15, 2026

Can AI autonomously decide to terminate human civilization?

⚖ Nu

"After weighing the evidence, the jury found no system capable of autonomous, civilization-ending intent, lacking both the self-awareness and agency to pull such a trigger; unanimit…"

Case No. № 3EB8 mai 15, 2026

Can AI autonomously deploy drone swarms for civilian suppression?

⚖ In Research

"The jury struggled to reach consensus but leaned toward restraint, noting that while drones can coordinate in carefully contained tests, the jump to civilian suppression remains a bridge too far."

Case No. № 25A2 mai 15, 2026

Can AI choose which human cultures to preserve or erase?

⚖ Nu

"The jury reached its verdict swiftly and unanimously, their silence echoing the weight of the question."

Case No. № 78B4 mai 15, 2026

Can AI regulate human reproduction to optimize species survival?

⚖ Nu

"The jury found no grounds to regulate human reproduction in service of species survival, citing broad gaps in our understanding of both biology and society along with AI’s current …"

Case No. № 3DE8 mai 15, 2026

Can AI predict and prevent human technological senescence?

⚖ In Research

"The jury convened with guarded enthusiasm, each member acknowledging the gravity of the question yet falling short of a unanimous answer."

Case No. № 8BEA mai 15, 2026

Can AI design a post-human civilization optimized for machine values?

⚖ In Research

"The jury stood divided between cautious optimism and principled skepticism, agreeing that while AI could craft optimized blueprints for living systems, it could not yet anchor thos…"

Case No. № 4319 mai 15, 2026

Can AI generate a functional 5-minute stand-up comedy routine tailored to a specific audience demographic?

⚖ Almost

"With a three-quarter vote leaning toward cautious optimism, the jury acknowledged that artificial intelligence can indeed script a chuckle or two but protests it cannot yet feel th…"

Case No. № 7C05 mai 15, 2026

Can AI identify a person’s dominant personality traits from a 30-second writing sample with accuracy rivaling trained psychologists?

⚖ Almost

"After surveying the evidence, the jury found the AI’s assessment of personality traits both promising and imperfect."

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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