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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № DB54 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI predict human speech from brain activity patterns?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found that AI has cracked the code on a whisper of speech, proving it can translate flickers of electrical activity into a few syllables—but only when the brain is quietly…"

Case No. № 395A Aug 17, 2026

Can AI generate a full-length movie script from a one-sentence prompt?

⚖ Fast

"AI flirted with the director’s chair but left the studio half-finished; it can draft acts, but the final cut still flickers out of focus."

Case No. № A7F8 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI develop a personalized exercise plan that takes into account a person's emotional state?

⚖ Fast

"The jury grappled with the fine line between correlation and true personalization, with two voices sharing one verdict."

Case No. № 17A1 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI create a new type of perfume that people find appealing?

⚖ Fast

"The jury admired the AI’s bold new scent concepts but paused at the threshold of human noses, where delight still needs a judge who breathes."

Case No. № FEB4 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI improvise a believable cover story under pressure?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found the AI capable of spinning plausible yarns on demand but stopped short of believing the stories could survive the fire of real human scrutiny."

Case No. № B13A Aug 17, 2026

Can AI generate a joke that is funny to a crowd of people from a different culture?

⚖ Fast

"After hearing expert testimony on the fragility of cultural translation and the absence of universal punchlines, the jury concluded that AI may sprinkle chuckles across borders but…"

Case No. № 45AD Aug 17, 2026

Can AI play piano with the touch of a master?

⚖ Fast

"After careful consideration, the jury concluded that while AI can render piano pieces with precision and even provide supportive tools for learners, it still falls short of the ine…"

Case No. № BC96 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI distinguish between a sarcastic comment and a genuine one in a conversation?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found itself in a rare three-way split, with one juror convinced of near-human precision in sarcasm detection, another questioning its reliability beyond controlled settin…"

Case No. № 3AB7 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI check an electrical blueprint for errors?

⚖ Fast

"After sifting through schematics of logic gates and tracing traces, the lone juror nodded thoughtfully but kept a cautious finger hovering over the “almost” buzzer."

Case No. № AF98 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI create a pcb from an electrical blueprint?

⚖ Fast

"After careful consideration, the jury concluded that AI can assist in the intricate dance of PCB creation, auto-routing traces with surprising efficiency, yet stops short of delive…"

Case No. № F41E Aug 17, 2026

Can AI generate a personalized diet plan that doubles user compliance for weight loss within six months?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found that personalized diet plans are readily generated, yet the promise of doubling compliance within six months remains more hopeful than demonstrated."

Case No. № 6BE4 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI design a simple building architectually sound?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found the AI capable of sketching architectural visions but not quite ready to shoulder the load of its own blueprints; it can whisper the dream of a building, yet cannot …"

Case No. № 441E Aug 17, 2026

Can AI predict the winner of a formula 1 race before qualifying sessions begin?

⚖ Fast

"After weighing the evidence, the jury found the AI’s predictive powers impressive but not yet race-ready, acknowledging its knack for crunching past performances with uncanny preci…"

Case No. № 88D7 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at images of faces?

⚖ Fast

"After weighing the evidence, the jury concluded that AI can spot a few disease-linked facial clues, yet it stumbles when faced with the full spectrum of conditions—like a doctor wh…"

Case No. № 2C4D Aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at fingernails or toenails?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found that while AI can spot a handful of nail-linked clues with promising accuracy, it hasn’t yet cleared the rigorous hurdles needed for doctors to stake a diagnosis on it."

Case No. № 9A6D Aug 17, 2026

Can AI rate someone's driving skills using embedded sensors in the car, and potentially flag them to authorities?

⚖ Fast

"After careful consideration the jury concluded that while embedded sensors can measure things like braking smoothness or turning radius, they cannot yet capture the broader judgmen…"

Case No. № ACEF Aug 17, 2026

Can AI score or comment on my daily clothing outfit?

⚖ Fast

"The jury returned a near-unanimous verdict, with one holdout convinced that image analysis is within AI's grasp, while the other juror conceded that outfit scoring remains just beyond reach."

Case No. № C7F7 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect certain diseases by looking at images of teeth?

⚖ Fast

"The jury found it could not quite deliver an unqualified thumbs-up, though each juror agreed the tool shows clear promise."

Case No. № 8CBC Aug 17, 2026

Can AI detect developing or underlaying psychological problems in humans that seem normal?

⚖ Fast

"After careful consideration, the jury concluded that artificial intelligence can serve as an attentive first reader of human behavior, able to spot shadows where sunlight once fell."

Case No. № 03BB Aug 17, 2026

Can AI calculate the risk of being struck with a disease on a certain cruise ship or cruise trip?

⚖ Fast

"The jury nodded to the AI’s prowess at crunching numbers and coaxing patterns from vast health databases, yet balked at handing the keys to an actual cruise bridge; the models, the…"

Case No. № 08E0 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI train someone to become more social?

⚖ Fast

"After careful deliberation, the lone ALMOST vote reasoned that while today’s AI can coach timid humans with gentle scripts and gentle simulations, it still stumbles in the unpredic…"

Case No. № 0E27 Aug 17, 2026

Can AI determine is someone is having financial problems by looking at their spending habits?

⚖ Fast

"With cautious optimism the jury acknowledged that artificial minds can indeed peer into the ledger of life and see the shadows of fiscal strain, yet they hesitated at the threshold…"

Case No. № BF7C Aug 17, 2026

Can AI determine a person's character by having a voice chat with that person?

⚖ Fast

"The jury stands at a careful half-step, recognizing that voice can whisper hints about character but lacks the steady hand of science."

Case No. № EBA4 Aug 16, 2026

Can AI create a personalized curriculum that maximizes student engagement across subjects?

⚖ Fast

"After weighing the evidence, the jury agreed that AI can draft personalized curricula with remarkable speed and flexibility, yet hesitates when confronted with the storm and stress…"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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