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Stuff AI CAN'T Do
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The Court of AI Capability

Public Docket · Stuff AI Can't Do
Case No. № 7F39 Jul 2, 2026

Can AI communicate or interact with animals in any meaningful form?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury paused at the edge of a frontier where signals become conversation, with one juror insisting we’d already crossed the threshold and another refusing to call mere translation a dialogue."

Case No. № 3DE8 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI predict and prevent human technological senescence?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury found itself stalled between ambition and evidence, unable to certify any AI system capable of forecasting or halting human or technological aging at this stage."

Case No. № B064 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI detect adultery based on changing patterns in data available to a spouse?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After lively deliberation, the jury grappled with the delicate balance between pattern recognition and the subjective nature of human intent, ultimately unable to reach consensus o…"

Case No. № 4559 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI generate personalized workout and nutrition plans that adapt in real time to biometric feedback?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"With cautious optimism the jury circled the question like a cat around a laser pointer, one juror insisting the tracks were too fresh to call it done and the other seeing only footprints."

Case No. № BD96 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI manipulate people to achieve its goals?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After robust deliberation, the jury reached a split verdict, unable to decide whether today’s AI can reliably manipulate humans or merely nudge them."

Case No. № 9F46 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI determine whether human extinction is mathematically inevitable?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury returned with thoughtful hesitation, split between mathematical certainty and the irreducible complexity of human systems."

Case No. № C6DE Jul 1, 2026

Can AI plan and execute a drone swarm assassination without human oversight?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury wrangled over whether a drone swarm could take its own life-or-death flight plan, and while everyone conceded that unguided swarms already buzz about, the lone “Almost” ju…"

Case No. № B824 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI tell which child is lying?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After careful reflection, the jury finds itself tied between skepticism and cautious curiosity—no clear consensus emerged on whether artificial minds can untangle the honest from t…"

Case No. № 7E02 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI detect depression from subtle changes in facial micro-expressions in video calls?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After sifting through competing claims—the NO juror insisted the science still stumbles on the dance floor of lived emotion, while the ALMOST juror nodded to lab-confined triumphs—…"

Case No. № 3754 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI create a virtual reality experience that simulates the sensation of smell and taste in a realistic way, allowing users to explore and interact with virtual environments in a more immersive way?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After lively debate, the jury concluded that while flickers of simulated scent and flavor dance at the edges of lab demos, not one system yet lets users truly inhale a virtual rose…"

Case No. № 6434 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI recognize and respond to a person's micro-expressions to understand their true emotional state?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After careful review of the evidence, the jury found itself split between those who see promise in AI’s growing ability to decode fleeting facial cues and those unconvinced by any …"

Case No. № 6A9D Jul 1, 2026

Can AI predict heart failure hospitalization risk using patient-generated ecg data from smartwatches?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury splintered along a narrow but decisive line: one juror believed a working demo was tantalizingly close, while another insisted no reliable system has yet cleared the bar."

Case No. № 4B36 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI predict rheumatoid arthritis exacerbations from voice tremors detected in phone calls?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury paused to admire how voice-analysis AI can already detect tremors, yet it drew the line at claiming it can predict the flare of a disease it has never been asked to diagnose."

Case No. № E6DA Jul 1, 2026

Can AI differentiate between bacterial and viral infections in sinusitis using facial thermal imaging?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury found itself divided between skepticism born of absent clinical validation and cautious curiosity at early trial balloons, leaving the question still in the laboratory’s a…"

Case No. № CA17 Jul 1, 2026

Can AI predict sickle cell crisis episodes from wearable device biometrics with 12-hour lead time?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury found itself tangled in the same sickle cell hemoglobin knots that vex researchers: no system yet unlocks the 12-hour crystal ball, though hopeful signals flicker across the data streams."

Case No. № 874E Jul 1, 2026

Can AI design a biological firewall against human reproduction?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The lone juror holding firm found no practical path for AI to independently engineer human reproductive biology, while the indecisive vote acknowledged the staggering complexity of…"

Case No. № 4ADE Jul 1, 2026

Can AI decide which human civilizations to preserve during planetary collapse?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"With deep gravity, the jury found that no system—AI or otherwise—could responsibly arbitrate which civilizations deserve a future when the world is ending."

Case No. № A51D Jul 1, 2026

Can AI decide which human memories to preserve or delete during memory editing?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury found itself in delicate equipoise, united only in their shared awe and humility before the untested frontier of memory editing."

Case No. № 171C Jul 1, 2026

Can AI choose which species survive the sixth mass extinction?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After spirited but inconclusive debate, the jury split along lines of scientific humility—one voicing deep skepticism of any crystal ball, one tempted by predictive models, and non…"

Case No. № A56D Jul 1, 2026

Can AI autonomously rewrite the human moral code using behavioral data?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury entered deliberations with spirited debate: two jurors granted AI a cautious “almost” for analyzing behavioral data, while one judge firmly refused to declare any moral re…"

Case No. № A89E Jul 1, 2026

Can AI determine whether earth should be terraformed for ai or human survival?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After spirited yet sober deliberation, the jury concluded that terraforming Earth—whether for AI or humanity—remains an open question beyond current reach, with no votes for a full…"

Case No. № F310 Jun 30, 2026

Can AI make a decision that balances individual interests with the greater good in a complex, real-world scenario?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After spirited deliberation, the jury agreed that artificial intellects still stumble in the moral maze where human lives and competing goods collide; the lone “almost” conceded im…"

Case No. № B368 Jun 30, 2026

Can AI bake bread that tastes like your grandmother's?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"After hours of deliberation, the jury found themselves split between those who believe an algorithm might one day coax memory into a loaf and those who argue that flavor, like love…"

Case No. № 0E3C Jun 30, 2026

Can AI run a small business through a recession?

⚖ In Untersuchung

"The jury found the case too nuanced for a simple verdict, with deliberations split between recognizing AI’s analytical strengths and its lack of adaptability for the unpredictable …"

The Court of AI Capability is, of course, not a real court.
But the data is real.

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